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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table shows the worldwide market share of the mobile phone market for manufactures in the years 2005 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (20 mins.)

The table shows the worldwide market share of the mobile phone market for manufactures in the years 2005 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (20 mins.)
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The figure presents data
of
Change preposition
on
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 the global
market
Use synonyms
share
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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smartphone producers in 2005 and 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that a few
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
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 consistently dominated the
market
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 other companies only occupied a small part of the
share
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. Nokia
occupies
Wrong verb form
occupied
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 almost one-third (32.5%) of the mobile phone
market
Use synonyms
 in 2005. The percentage of it increased to 35% in the subsequence year. The rising trend could
also
Linking Words
 be seen in the
market
Use synonyms
 distribution of Motoria, which increased its
share
Use synonyms
 by 3.4% between 2005 and 2006.
Although
Linking Words
 the percentage for Samsung slightly dropped by 0.9%, it still occupied more than 10% of the
market
Use synonyms
. Other brands,
however
Linking Words
, shared less than 10% of the mobile phone
market
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. The
share
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 for Sony Ericson increased by 1.1%, but it was still lower than the top three companies in 2006. The percentage of the
market
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share
Use synonyms
 of L.G. and BenQ Mobile decreased in 2006
with
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apply
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compared to 2005. Eventually, the total
market
Use synonyms
share
Use synonyms
 of these 3 companies (16.1%) was less than that of Nokia (35%) or
Motorla
Correct your spelling
Motorola
 (21.7%) in 2006.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words market, share with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • market share
  • dominance
  • manufacturers
  • market position
  • consumer preference
  • product development
  • growth
  • stable
  • decrease/increase
  • comparative analysis
  • data trends
  • global market
  • mobile phone industry
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