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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

( Do you agree or disagree with the following statement : It's a good idea to send homework assignments for students during summer breaks) examples and reasons.

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There is no denying the fact that
students
Use synonyms
 should do useful activities on summer vacations.
while
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 it is
commonly
Correct article usage
a commonly
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 held belief that children should enjoy the holidays
instead
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 of spending their time doing boring tasks like homework assignments, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that the point of summer breaks is to have enough time for hobbies and exploring yourself. 
To begin
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 with,
students
Use synonyms
specially
Replace the word
especially
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 high school and college
students
Use synonyms
facing
Wrong verb form
face
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 a lot of pressure during school days.
In other words
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, having
fully
Correct article usage
a fully
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 scheduled and
a
Correct article usage
apply
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long
to do
Add a hyphen
to-do
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 list during the year is a lot of stress and pressure that may cause a lot of mental health problems.
In addition
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,
students
Use synonyms
 need to have more rest and joy during the holidays to balance their lifestyle.
For example
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, visiting family and friends or
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 to a new country is a good idea for disconnecting from studying stress.  Another point to consider,
if
Add a missing verb
is if
show examples
students
Use synonyms
received
Wrong verb form
receive
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 homework during summer
that
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 will distract them from exploring themselves away from the education system and the job market standards.
Moreover
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, we should encourage children and teenagers to create their own vision and to focus on their personal development to achieve their own goals.  In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that we should give the youth enough space to live in their way away from all the
schools
Change to a genitive case
school's
schools'
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 tasks and
rquirements
Correct your spelling
requirements
.
Also
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, we should help
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teenagers to be more authentic and creative,
and that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
by giving them
the
Correct article usage
apply
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control
on
Change preposition
over
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 their free time
instead
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 of putting them in
strict
Correct article usage
a strict
show examples
 system.

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Task Achievement
Clarify your position in the introduction by stating your agreement or disagreement more explicitly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between your sentences and paragraphs for better coherence.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments and to illustrate your points clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
You effectively emphasize the importance of personal development and mental health in your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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