IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that getting a degree from univerity is the best way to secure a good job. Others believe that employers value work experience more than a university degree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The a
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The
A
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 number of individuals
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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believe that completing a degree in an institution is helpful for future employment,
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however
Add the comma(s)
however,
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 others are in favour of gaining
job
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
is
Correct your spelling
as
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 effective as compared with the former idea.
This
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 essay intends to clarify both standpoints by mentioning examples with personal opinions.
Firstly
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, university education renders qualitative theoretical knowledge to students by which they can easily adapt to the key considerations of a particular designation and develop problem-solving skills.
For example
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, acquiring three or more years of study in mechanical engineering often makes the candidate able to repair any breakdown of machines by the use of their technical mind.
Hence
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, a university degree is a basic necessity in order to do
a
Change the article
an
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 activity in their respective field.
Secondly
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, completing the requirement of working hours plays a part and parcel role in the selection of employees because the candidates who are experienced
in particular
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 work do not need much training as compared with fresher and they may face fewer obstacles in terms of feeling comfortable in the workplace environment, which leads to require decreased efforts for staff to train the candidates. To exemplify, suppose a chef has one year of
experience
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 at any restaurant and
then
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 chooses to quit the work, but
this
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experience
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 shines the resume portfolio since whenever in future the personnel have more chances to successfully get
job
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 opportunities
instead
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 of fresher person. In conclusion,
although
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 it is true that university education is the bottom pillar for applying for employment, work
experience
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also
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 has the same equivalent importance as it provides practical training.
Therefore
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, in my opinion, a balanced approach is considered to be the best outcome for securing a
job
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 since the collaboration of theoretical knowledge with practical apprenticeship makes people the best personalities for their favourable
job
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 roles.

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task achievement
Expand on the introduction to clearly outline the main points you will discuss in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Use more specific examples and perhaps include counterarguments to strengthen your points and demonstrate depth of understanding.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides a personal opinion, which is essential for task completion.
task achievement
Good use of examples to illustrate points made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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