IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the best way to solve global environment problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people assume that one of the solutions to solve global warming is to increase the cost of fuel, and
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
due to
Linking Words
 the negative impact
cars
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 have on the environment of the world. Increasing the cost of fuel will lead individuals to buy electricity that does not harm the environment and is environment friendly, in order to save money
instead
Linking Words
 of wasting it on
gas
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. On the one hand, increasing the charge of
gas
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 will make a major shift in behaviours of buying
cars
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, where choosing a
car
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 will depend
based
Verb problem
apply
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on the
car
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's
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gas saving
Add a hyphen
gas-saving
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 rather than the engine size,
however
Linking Words
 many people care about the
car
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's power and
speedcars
Correct your spelling
speed cars
 power and speed but
that is
Linking Words
 not a big problem because there are
cars
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 that are strong and still are
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climate friendly
Add a hyphen
climate-friendly
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,
for instance
Linking Words
, tesla electric
cars
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 are strong, fast and does not need any
gas
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 that
damage
Change the verb form
damages
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 the global
climate
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people despite the thought of
electric
Correct article usage
the electric
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car
Use synonyms
 being a lifesaver for the global warming matter, because of the damage it causes to the global
climate
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 from
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
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 that
produces
Correct subject-verb agreement
produce
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 the batteries. saying that even through increasing the amount of fuel the damage will still remain and
that is
Linking Words
 a misleading assumption. In conclusion, increasing the charge of
gas
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 will help in reducing the problems in the global
climate
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 problems caused by
cars
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 and will lead to new habits in buying decisions by fussing
in
Change preposition
about
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cars
Use synonyms
 that less consume
gas
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will make a major impact in the long-term leading to reduce a significant amount of problems.

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Task Achievement
Try to provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to outline your position and key points more explicitly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph includes a clear topic sentence that relates directly to your main argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and clarity in your sentences to enhance the readability of your essay.
Task Achievement
You have presented a clear opinion regarding the increase of fuel costs and its potential effects on consumer behavior.
Task Achievement
Your use of examples, such as Tesla electric cars, adds relevance and depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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