IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays computer education is compulsory for your learners in most schools. Do you think is necessary or will children acquire these skills naturally from their daily interaction with technology everywhere? provide your opinion and use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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According to
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 the digital era,
computer
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education
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 has become an essential part of school curricula.
While
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 some argue that
children
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 naturally acquire technological
skills
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 through daily interactions with devices, I believe that formal
computer
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education
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 is necessary. Schools provide structured learning, ensuring
students
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 gain not only practical knowledge but
also
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 critical thinking and digital literacy
skills
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.
To begin
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 with, formal
computer
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education
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 ensures
students
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 receive comprehensive training beyond casual
technology
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using
Replace the word
use
show examples
. Many
children
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 know how to use smartphones and social media but they may lack essential
skills
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 like coding, cybersecurity awareness and proper online research techniques.
For example
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,
students
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 who learn programming in school can develop problem-solving
skills
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 which are valuable for future careers in
technology
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.
Moreover
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, structured lessons help
students
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 understand the ethical aspects of digital interactions, preventing issues like cyberbullying and misinformation.
Furthermore
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, relying solely on natural exposure to
technology
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 may lead to gaps in knowledge, especially for
students
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 from disadvantaged backgrounds.
While
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children
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 in urban areas might have frequent access to digital devices, those in rural or low-income families may not. Schools play a crucial role in bridging
this
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 gap by providing equal learning opportunities for all
students
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.
For instance
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, a child without a
computer
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 at home can still develop
necessary
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the necessary
show examples
skills
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 in a well-equipped school environment. In conclusion, formal
computer
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education
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 is essential to ensure they acquire well-rounded digital
skills
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although
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children
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 interact with
technology
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 daily. Schools provide structured learning, equal access and critical knowledge that cannot be gained solely through casual
technology
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 use.
Therefore
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, making
computer
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education
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 compulsory is a necessary step toward preparing
students
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 for the future.

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task achievement
Your essay is well-structured, but consider adding a more explicit thesis statement in the introduction to clarify your position more strongly.
task achievement
While your points are relevant, make sure to provide a bit more elaboration on your examples, especially when discussing the ethical aspects of digital interactions.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are logically constructed, but try to use a wider variety of cohesive devices to enhance the flow between ideas.
task achievement
You have demonstrated a clear understanding of the topic and provided logical reasoning to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing is coherent overall, and you effectively use paragraphs to separate ideas.
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