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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. »

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. »
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The pie chart illustrates the
units
Use synonyms
 of electricity generated in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
 with resources as fuel for consumption in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1980 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of coal used in
Australia
Use synonyms
 during 1980 and 2000
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 50
units
Use synonyms
, increasing to 130
units
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
France
Use synonyms
 used
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nuclear power and natural gas, 25
units
Use synonyms
 each; and substantially, in 2000,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nuclear energy was used up to 126
units
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. In terms of total production, Australians consumed coal fuel 25
units
Use synonyms
 more than
France
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 in 1980.
However
Linking Words
, in the year 2000, French used only 25
units
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, a substantial portion was utilized by 130
units
Use synonyms
 in the Australian region.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, French people
produces
Wrong verb form
produced
show examples
 nuclear power up to 15
units
Use synonyms
 in 1980,
while
Linking Words
 it significantly dominated by producing 126
unit
Fix the agreement mistake
units
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 by 2000.
Australia
Use synonyms
 neither used it in 1980 nor in 2000. Natural gas was produced both in
Australia
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 and
France
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approximately
Change preposition
in approximately
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on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
similar
proportion
Fix the agreement mistake
proportions
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 by 25 and 20
units
Use synonyms
 respectively. Oil was relatively used more by French than by Australians in both, 1980 and 2000.
Australia
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 was the higher producer of
hydro power
Correct your spelling
hydropower
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 both in 1980
as well as
Linking Words
 2000.
France
Use synonyms
 did make 5
units
Use synonyms
 in 1980
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but did not create it in 2000.

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words units, australia, france with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "substantially" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • units of electricity production
  • fuel source
  • dominant source
  • reliance on coal
  • hydroelectric power
  • natural gas
  • significant reduction
  • primary source
  • drastically increased
  • transition
  • existing infrastructure
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