In many countries around the world, young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answers and include relevant examples.

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It has been observed that
,
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many young adults decide to reside away from their parents as soon as they commence their education at
school
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the school
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level. Either, they live in
an
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apply
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independent
accomodation
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accommodation
or
they
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apply
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with
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are with
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their friends in
sharing
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shared
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apartment
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apartments
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or housing.
This
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can build confidence to understand the world around us,
as well as
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learn to tackle many challenges that may arise during their stay away from family.
I
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In
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my opinion,
this
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is a positive development which can lead to becoming a
self sufficient
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self-sufficient
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individual, potentially productive and
also
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efficiently resolve problems
on
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in later
life
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. In terms of, being independent and self-efficient is essential in today's world to explore and understand
the
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apply
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basic
need
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needs
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and
life
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skills.
For example
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,
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the
an
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individual gets ample space and
opportunites
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opportunities
opportunity
to think about their priorities, whilst making decisions to accelerate their future
opportunites
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opportunities
of their choices. It does not limit them to any particular area for jobs or other opportunities to travel around.
As a result
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,
newly
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new
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graduates have started to work and live away from homes, either with their friends or by themselves. Learning to understand themselves , their needs and
selection
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their selection
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of where to live
,
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opens up a wider range of future prospectus.
In addition
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to
this
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, it
also
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helps to discover the potential
abilityies
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abilities
ability
to make decisions beyond family and work
as well as
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unlocking their full
potenial
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potential
to foster curiosity for learning that
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last
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lasts
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a lifetime.
For instance
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, if the young individual will save money by eating
home cooked
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home-cooked
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meals or by depending on restaurant meals? For suppose, using
bugdeting
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budgeting
techniques can boost
thier
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their
confidence on how to handle money effectively which they will not be able to learn to their full potential if they
contiune
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continue
to live with their parents as they will always be there to provide guidance and security. It is essential to take
risk
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risks
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in order to learn a valuable foundation for a successful and fulfilling
life
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. In conclusion,
although
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leaving
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your parents
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parents
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parents'
parent's
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house at a very young age can become
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a challenge
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challenge
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challenging
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to deal
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in dealing
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with many
real
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real-life
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life
Use synonyms
issues, it has brought about too many benefits for
this
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to be considered a positive trend.

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task achievement
Clarify your statements in the introduction to make them more precise and direct. The phrasing could be simplified for better understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that sentences are structured clearly, avoiding redundancies. For instance, try to avoid phrases like 'in terms of' which can complicate the structure.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical consistency, especially with article usage and pluralization. For example, ‘accommodations’ should be ‘accommodation’ when referred to in a general sense, and ‘abilityies’ should be ‘abilities’.
coherence and cohesion
Support your ideas with clear transitions between your points to enhance the logical flow of your essay. Use linking words such as ‘furthermore’ or ‘in addition’ more effectively.
task achievement
In the conclusion, rephrase your main arguments effectively instead of introducing new ideas. Focus on summarizing the benefits you've discussed to reinforce your position.
task achievement
You provided a clear opinion and made an attempt to discuss both sides of the argument.
task achievement
The essay conveys a relevant viewpoint on the topic and demonstrates awareness of the associated life skills.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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