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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows how a biofuel called ethanol is produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how a biofuel called ethanol is produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The illustration provides information about the process of
ethanol
Use synonyms
production
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 from plants and trees.
Overall
Linking Words
, plants absorb sunlight and
carbon
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dioxide
Use synonyms
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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energy. Once they reach maturity, they are harvested and sent for pre-processing where they are broken down into cellulose which is one type of carbohydrate.
Then
Linking Words
, cellulose is processed
further
Linking Words
 to
extracted
Wrong verb form
extract
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 sugars which are essential for the process. After that, microbes are added to the sugars and become the result
in
Change preposition
of
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 the
production
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 of
ethanol
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. Once the
ethanol
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 is obtained, it is transported and used as a fuel for various vehicles, including cars, trucks and
airplanes
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aeroplanes
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.
However
Linking Words
, as these vehicles consume
ethanol
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, they release
carbon
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dioxide
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 into the atmosphere. Despite
this
Linking Words
, the
carbon
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dioxide
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 is reabsorbed by plants.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
production
Use synonyms
 becomes a continuous cycle of biofuel creation. In conclusion,
ethanol
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production
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 is a significantly renewable process that relies on plant growth and microbial fermentation.
Although
Linking Words
carbon
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dioxide
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 is released during fuel consumption, it is partially offset by plant absorption.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ethanol, production, carbon, dioxide with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • procurement
  • raw materials
  • milled
  • surface area
  • fermentable substance
  • enzymes
  • yeast
  • fermentation
  • byproducts
  • isolate
  • purified
  • distillation
  • concentration
  • containers
  • distribution
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