Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting thier usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development ?

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A growing number of
people
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are choosing
alternative
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medicine
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over conventional medical
treatments
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.
While
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some believe
this
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shift promotes natural healing and greater personal control,
this
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essay argues that it is a negative development
due to
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the serious
health
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risks it poses and its harmful impact on
healthcare
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systems and national economies. One of the most significant dangers of relying on
alternative
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medicine
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is the increased risk of misdiagnosis and ineffective treatment. Unlike licensed doctors, practitioners of
alternative
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therapies
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often lack the scientific knowledge and medical expertise necessary for accurate diagnosis and effective care. A study conducted by Harvard University found that over 60% of diagnoses made by uncertified
individuals
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were incorrect, leading to delayed treatment, worsened conditions, and preventable deaths.
This
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issue became particularly evident during the COVID-19 pandemic when many
people
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turned to herbal remedies and unverified home
treatments
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instead
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of seeking professional medical help.
As a result
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, countless cases deteriorated, contributing to higher mortality rates and placing an immense burden on
healthcare
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systems. Beyond the individual
health
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risks, the rising popularity of
alternative
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medicine
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undermines national
healthcare
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systems and weakens economies. As fewer
people
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seek professional medical services, governments may divert funding away from hospitals, medical research, and the training of
healthcare
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professionals, leading to a gradual decline in
healthcare
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quality.
This
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problem is especially concerning in developing nations, where medical resources are already scarce.
Moreover
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,
alternative
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treatments
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often provide only temporary relief rather than long-term solutions, causing
individuals
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to waste substantial amounts of money on ineffective
therapies
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.
This
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financial drain impacts not only personal savings but
also
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national
healthcare
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budgets, reducing funding for life-saving medical advancements. To address
this
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growing issue, governments must implement stricter regulations on the promotion of
alternative
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medicine
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to prevent misleading claims that falsely present these
treatments
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as scientifically proven.
Additionally
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, public
health
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campaigns should be launched to educate
individuals
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about the risks of unverified
therapies
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, ensuring that
people
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make informed decisions about their
health
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.
Furthermore
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, improving access to affordable and high-quality conventional
healthcare
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can reduce the appeal of
alternative
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medicine
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and encourage
people
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to seek treatment from qualified professionals. In conclusion, the increasing reliance on
alternative
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medicine
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is a harmful trend that threatens public
health
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, weakens medical infrastructure, and places financial strain on both
individuals
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and national economies.
While
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some argue that
alternative
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therapies
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provide holistic benefits, their lack of scientific validation makes them an unreliable substitute for professional medical care. To ensure long-term well-being,
individuals
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should prioritize evidence-based
treatments
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, and governments must take proactive steps to strengthen trust in conventional
medicine
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.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument against alternative medicine, effectively addressing the prompt. Make sure to include a balanced view or acknowledge opposing perspectives briefly to enhance the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a good overall structure with clear paragraphs. Consider using more varied linking words to further improve transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
Positive Highlight
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the argument, clearly articulating your stance on the issue.
Positive Highlight
You provided specific evidence, such as the study from Harvard University, which strengthens your argument regarding the risks of alternative medicine.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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