In some countries,owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Aliya. Why might this be a case? Do you think this is positive or negative situation?
In several countries, having a home for
people
is Use synonyms
vital
than renting it. Correct quantifier usage
more vital
This
happens because a house is a property, it means financial stability. Linking Words
Therefore
I believe that it is a positive situation to be more careful with the budget.
Linking Words
People
tend to have homes because of the stable budget now or in the future. They don'Use synonyms
t
need to worry about Use synonyms
money
, they always have an option. If they have problems with health or a job, they have an opportunity to sell it. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, the Linking Words
money
they receive can Use synonyms
spend
on everything. Wrong verb form
be spent
For example
, a man loses a job and he doesn'Linking Words
t
have enough Use synonyms
money
to rent a house, in Use synonyms
this
case, it can be really helpful and he can have a rest before, he finds another job. He doesn'Linking Words
t
worry about Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the appartment
appartment
.
I think it is a positive case, that can develop in many countries. In Correct your spelling
apartment
this
case, they should be financially accurate. If Linking Words
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
financailly
accurate, they will save Correct your spelling
financially
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
money
. When Use synonyms
people
don'Use synonyms
t
have their own house, they spend Use synonyms
money
to rent it but if they have Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
thing
, they can Correct article usage
a thing
spent
their Change the verb form
spend
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
another
useful stuff, like travelling or buying a newer car.
Correct quantifier usage
other
To conclude
, Linking Words
people
want to have Use synonyms
home
for financial steadiness. I believe it is a positive sight, not to spend Add an article
a home
money
on unnecessary Use synonyms
thing
and pay attention to every coin that they spend.Fix the agreement mistake
things
b_aliya_k89
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Task Achievement
Your introduction presents the main idea, but could benefit from clearer phrasing and grammatical accuracy. Consider revising it for better clarity and conciseness.
Task Achievement
Make sure to provide consistent and relevant examples that directly relate to the main points of your argument. Some examples here need to be explained further to enhance understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the flow of your ideas by using linking words or phrases more effectively. This will help the reader follow your arguments easily.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be careful with grammar and spelling, as it can distract from your message. Words like 'apartment' should be spelled correctly and sentences should be properly formed.
Task Achievement
You clearly express your opinion throughout the essay, which shows a good understanding of the topic and engagement with the task.
Task Achievement
Some points reflect insightful arguments about financial stability and resource management, adding depth to your perspective.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite