In some countries,owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Aliya. Why might this be a case? Do you think this is positive or negative situation?

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In several countries, having a home for
people
Use synonyms
is
vital
Correct quantifier usage
more vital
show examples
than renting it.
This
Linking Words
happens because a house is a property, it means financial stability.
Therefore
Linking Words
I believe that it is a positive situation to be more careful with the budget.
People
Use synonyms
tend to have homes because of the stable budget now or in the future. They don'
t
Use synonyms
need to worry about
money
Use synonyms
, they always have an option. If they have problems with health or a job, they have an opportunity to sell it.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
money
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they receive can
spend
Wrong verb form
be spent
show examples
on everything.
For example
Linking Words
, a man loses a job and he doesn'
t
Use synonyms
have enough
money
Use synonyms
to rent a house, in
this
Linking Words
case, it can be really helpful and he can have a rest before, he finds another job. He doesn'
t
Use synonyms
worry about
Correct article usage
the appartment
show examples
appartment
Correct your spelling
apartment
. I think it is a positive case, that can develop in many countries. In
this
Linking Words
case, they should be financially accurate. If
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
show examples
financailly
Correct your spelling
financially
accurate, they will save
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
money
Use synonyms
. When
people
Use synonyms
don'
t
Use synonyms
have their own house, they spend
money
Use synonyms
to rent it but if they have
such
Linking Words
thing
Correct article usage
a thing
show examples
, they can
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
their
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
useful stuff, like travelling or buying a newer car.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
want to have
home
Add an article
a home
show examples
for financial steadiness. I believe it is a positive sight, not to spend
money
Use synonyms
on unnecessary
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
and pay attention to every coin that they spend.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction presents the main idea, but could benefit from clearer phrasing and grammatical accuracy. Consider revising it for better clarity and conciseness.
Task Achievement
Make sure to provide consistent and relevant examples that directly relate to the main points of your argument. Some examples here need to be explained further to enhance understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the flow of your ideas by using linking words or phrases more effectively. This will help the reader follow your arguments easily.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be careful with grammar and spelling, as it can distract from your message. Words like 'apartment' should be spelled correctly and sentences should be properly formed.
Task Achievement
You clearly express your opinion throughout the essay, which shows a good understanding of the topic and engagement with the task.
Task Achievement
Some points reflect insightful arguments about financial stability and resource management, adding depth to your perspective.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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