IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular choose it s a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is no doubt that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is a boon
of
Change preposition
to
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 human life. Nowadays, Not only studies but some jobs
are totally perform
Change the verb form
are totally performed
show examples
 through
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
, some people think that as per the increasing demand of
internet
Add a comma
internet,
show examples
 it would totally vanish the identity of books. Meanwhile, I personally believe
this
Linking Words
 trend would not adverse effect on
demand
Correct article usage
the demand
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 physical study materials.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position regarding the topic. This would help set the tone for your argument throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence, organize your paragraphs more clearly. Consider using topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Add specific examples to support your claims. For instance, mention particular aspects of online learning or data about book usage to strengthen your points.
task achievement
You express a clear opinion on the matter, which is essential for task response.
coherence and cohesion
Your vocabulary shows an attempt at variety, which is commendable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • profoundly
  • efficient
  • platform
  • replace
  • accessibility
  • resources
  • interactive
  • engagement
  • multimedia
  • up-to-date
  • cost-effectiveness
  • economical
  • learning styles
  • preferential
  • educational materials
What to do next:
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