In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays the world of work

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

become more competitive compared to the

last

Linking Words

century.

As a result

Linking Words

, people think that it is easier to move to another city trying to find work, even if that means

to stay

Change the verb form

staying

show examples

apart from their loved ones. I personally believe that

this

Linking Words

choice could

brings

Change the verb form

bring

show examples

drawback

Fix the agreement mistake

drawbacks

show examples

than benefits, and in

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will explain why. First and foremost, with the

growht

Correct your spelling

growth

globalisation

Add a comma

globalisation,

show examples

many companies decided to

dislocated

Change the verb

dislocate

show examples

their working place in different areas in order to expand their business.

This

Linking Words

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

leads

Replace the word

led

show examples

people to find a

job

Use synonyms

near

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

hometown

Fix the agreement mistake

hometowns

show examples

. Thanks to

this

Linking Words

, if a youth is new to a specific

job

Use synonyms

place,

for example

Linking Words

, or if he is not totally sure about that position, he

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

the possibility to try working for a short period of time without change completely its life.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, if

move

Wrong verb form

moving

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

another city

could be

Wrong verb form

show examples

not that challenging for

younger

Add an article

a younger

the younger

show examples

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

nevertheless

Linking Words

, it is undoubtedly more difficult for people

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

had chose

Wrong verb form

have chosen

show examples

built

Change the verb

build

show examples

a family. In fact, moving

Change preposition

show examples

a completely new city for a person who has a partner and children

require

Correct subject-verb agreement

requires

show examples

thinking not only

Change preposition

about

show examples

the higher cost of living, but it is

also

Linking Words

important to think about the related social issues for the children. To

conlcude

Correct your spelling

conclude

, that finding a

job

Use synonyms

is easier for those who choose to move away from their friends and family is a common perspective. Despite

this

Linking Words

, in my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

the advantages of changing

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

leaving

Correct word choice

and leaving

show examples

one's hometown for a new

job

Use synonyms

do not outweigh the disadvantages.

cairoli.anna2002Wed Apr 02 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion and the main points you'll discuss. This sets a clearer roadmap for your reader.

coherence and cohesion

Check your grammar and spelling for errors, such as "bring" instead of "brings," and "dislocated" instead of "relocated." These small mistakes can detract from the overall clarity of your writing.

task achievement

Try to provide more relevant examples to support your points. Personal or hypothetical scenarios can enrich the discussion and provide clarity.

coherence and cohesion

Consider adding linking phrases between paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas. Phrases like 'On the contrary' or 'Additionally' can enhance coherence.

positive

Your argument about the impact of globalization on job availability was insightful and relevant.

positive

The structure of your essay followed a logical flow, moving from introducing the topic to discussing both sides effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

relocation
employment prospects
professional development
cultural exposure
isolation
familial relationships
cost of living
career progression
mental health
significant life events
higher salaries
support families
broaden horizons
living standards

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8.5
band
A local college is having an International day. You want to speak about your country to students from different cultures. Write a letter to your college head. Talk about the topic you are going to talk about. Explain why would they be of interest to students Ask about any arrangements you need to work to give the talk.
I got the news about the upcoming International Day in our college, and as a final year student of this institution, I would love to speak about my country Nigeria to other students from different parts of the world. I believe it will be a great moment for everyone.
6.5
band
Some people believe that money spent on space exploration is not justifiable. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, various people claim that the money spent on space exploration is unjustifiable. Also, they believe that these funds should be spent on more beneficial areas. Space exploration has not yielded benefits commensurate with the billions of dollars spent on it. I strongly agree that there are more usable things to spend these funds on.
8
band
As languages such as English, Spanish and Mandarin become more widely spoken, there is a concern that many minority languages may disappear. Some countries have taken steps to protect minority languages. What is your view of this practice ?
As the world integrated, many people willing to learn a second language which is mostly includes English, Spanish and Mandarin. However, this situation contributes disappearance of non-popular languages. Therefore, some communities aim to take effective actions by preserving theirs. In my side of view, these protections are necessary and most value them. In this essay, I will outline my vision in this case and present some reasons.
7
band
Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
An increasing number of people today opt to work for themselves instead of having a job. This choice has a number of benefits and drawbacks, which will be discussed in this essay.
7
band
For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this give details of how you have benefited from the club explain why you want to leave
I hope this letter finds you well. My name is Vlad and one year ago I purchased a member platinum card to visiting your sports centre. Unfortunately, I would like to unsubscribe from my club card, due to the fact that I will change my location.

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that money spent on space exploration is not justifiable. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As languages such as English, Spanish and Mandarin become more widely spoken, there is a concern that many minority languages may disappear. Some countries have taken steps to protect minority languages. What is your view of this practice ?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?