IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays many students choose to attend
university
Use synonyms
 far from home.
As a
Linking Words
consequence
Add a comma
consequence,
show examples
 they need to learn how to live alone without the aid of their families.
Conversely
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, other students prefer to stay in their family's house during their studies, remaining in their comfort zone. In my perspective deciding to live alone since
university
Use synonyms
 has more advantages than disadvantages. First of all,
although
Linking Words
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 in your hometown might allow you to hang out with your childhood friends, moving into a new
city
Use synonyms
 could give you the opportunity to meet new
people
Use synonyms
 and expand your network.
For example
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, in a metropolitan
city
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 like Milano facing
with
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apply
show examples
important
people
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 in your study field is easier than in a small town.
This
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this
Linking Words
lead
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leads
show examples
 you to the chance of
boost
Change the verb form
boosting
show examples
 your post-study
carreer
Correct your spelling
career
. Despite the above, many
people
Use synonyms
 might be afraid of moving
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 another
city
Use synonyms
 completely alone
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and dealing with new problems without the help or the support of the family. In my opinion,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, learning how to solve problems
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our own is the best way to
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
 self-confidence and self-esteem. In fact, recent studies demonstrate that "learning by doing" is the best method to improve our character
uncounciously
Correct your spelling
unconsciously
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 could
aurgue
Correct your spelling
argue
 that choosing to study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 hometown
university
Use synonyms
 has many benefits,
such
Linking Words
 as having longtime friends and remaining in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
comfort-zone
Correct your spelling
comfort zone
show examples
 without dealing with new issues. In my personal opinion, I believe that the advantages of moving
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a new
city
Use synonyms
 alone since the
university
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as building a wider network and developing new skills useful for the rest of
the
Change the word
my
show examples
 life, are unquestionably more than the drawbacks.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider refining your introduction to clearly outline the main points you will discuss in your essay. This will help set a clearer expectation for the reader.
task achievement
In your body paragraphs, ensure that each idea is fully developed with clear explanations and examples. This will strengthen your arguments and enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Watch for minor spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'studing' instead of 'studying' and 'built' instead of 'build'. This will improve the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and effectively state your perspective on the issue, which adds strength to your argument.
task achievement
Your essay contains relevant examples and ideas, which demonstrate an understanding of the topic and support your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
What to do next:
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