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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast-food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast-food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The bar graph illustrates the
perscentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of individuals
whom
Change the pronoun
who
show examples
 ate in
fast-food
Use synonyms
 restaurants frequently in the United
states
Capitalize word
States
show examples
 of America, in 2003, 2008 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 average one-third of
Americans
Use synonyms
 ate at
fast-food
Use synonyms
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
 once a week and once or twice a month in the given time period.
while
Linking Words
 the
minmum
Correct your spelling
minimum
 of
Americans
Use synonyms
 ate at
fast-food
Use synonyms
resutaurant everday
Correct your spelling
restaurants every day
 or never at all. In 2003,
individauls
Correct your spelling
individuals
whom
Change the pronoun
who
show examples
 ate
serveral
Correct your spelling
several
 times a week and once a week in restaurants
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 were at nearly 17% and 30%
respectivly
Correct your spelling
respectively
,
then
Linking Words
 increased gradually to 20% and 33%
respectivly
Correct your spelling
respectively
 in 2006,
then
Linking Words
 faced a slight fall to 16% and 28%
respectivly
Correct your spelling
respectively
 by 2013. The percentage of
Americans
Use synonyms
whom
Change the pronoun
who
show examples
 ate
onces
Correct your spelling
once
 or twice a month in
fast-food
Use synonyms
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
 were nearly 30% in 2003,
then
Linking Words
 the figure
fall
Replace the word
fell
show examples
 to 20% in 2006, after which rose again to approximately 33% by 2013. the
Americans
Use synonyms
whom
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 ate every day or never
show
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
similar
Add an article
a similar
show examples
 trend, both graphs were nearly 5% in 2003, followed
a
Change preposition
by a
show examples
slight decline and
remainded
Correct your spelling
remained
 the same in 2006 and 2013.
Moreover
Linking Words
, individuals
whom
Change the pronoun
who
show examples
 ate out a few times a year
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
were nearly 13% in 2003 ,
then
Linking Words
 increased slightly to 15% and the rate
remainded
Correct your spelling
remained
 stable in 2006 and 2013
respectivly
Correct your spelling
respectively
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fast-food, americans with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
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