In many nations, it is becoming mandatory to receive vaccinations in order to prevent the spread of disease. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Many countries are now adapting to
vaccines
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so that there is
decrease
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a decrease
the decrease
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in
spread
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the spread
show examples
of contagious diseases. I
compeletly
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completely
agree
to
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with
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this
Linking Words
development because
they
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it
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significantly
reduce
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reduces
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the
prevalance
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prevalence
of deadly diseases and
also
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decrease
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decreases
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the burden on
healthcare
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the healthcare
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system by saving on medical costs. Vaccinations are the means to herd community. Mandatory
vaccines
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can improve the chances to limit the disease from
futher
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further
progression as it
also
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protects the community who cannot be vaccinated
due to
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medical reasons
also
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by
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apply
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this
Linking Words
means there is a possibility to
compeletly
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completely
eradicate the illness .
For example
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, serious ailments like
small pox
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smallpox
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and polio are not present in the current generation as the older population
was
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is
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already immune to
it
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them
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, but not taking them can have serious and
life long
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lifelong
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effects .
Therefore
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it is necessary for every individual to take the
vaccines
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. The impact on healthcare systems once the disease starts to spread is
unmeasureable
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unmeasurable
as it not only increases the number of hospitalizations but
also
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the medical cost is unmanageable because
this
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leads to
higher
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a higher
the higher
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number of patients and
less
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fewer
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doctors
also
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there is
limited
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a limited
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amount of
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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to treat them as
this
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aid during the time of pandemic is very expensive .
For instance
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, during
COVID-19
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the COVID-19
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pandemic there was a shortage of oxygen tanks and the prices
very
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were very
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high
and
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apply
show examples
due to
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the decrease in
availability
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the availability
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of doctors people without medical knowledge were put
incharge
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in charge
of the group who had the disease. In summary,
Vaccines
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can provide immunity to
the
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apply
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people that can help
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
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the illness
to progress
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from progressing
show examples
also
Linking Words
the impact on healthcare systems will not be affected severely.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents the topic clearly, but it could be enhanced by stating your position more explicitly. Consider revising it to directly reflect your strong agreement with the mandatory vaccination policy.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure to check spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'prevalance,' 'further,' and 'unmeasureable.' These small errors can distract from your ideas. Proofreading is essential.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that both states the main point of that paragraph and relates back to your thesis statement.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your arguments, such as the eradication of smallpox and polio, which strengthens your position.
task achievement
Your argument about the economic burden on the healthcare system due to the spread of disease is insightful and adds depth to your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • herd immunity
  • contagious diseases
  • public health safety
  • individual rights
  • preventable diseases
  • healthcare systems
  • ethical implications
  • bodily autonomy
  • inequitable access
  • cultural factors
  • economic factors
  • political factors
  • mandatory vaccinations
  • vaccination rates
  • outbreaks
  • hospitalizations
  • consent
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