IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is noticed that a large number of younger population are leaving small towns for metropolitan cities. There are so many factors at play
such
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 as better job opportunities,access to great medical facilities and .
This
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 essay will discuss
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 and cons. First of all, youth would like to consider immigrating from
hometowns
Correct pronoun usage
their hometowns
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 because cities have much more to offer which youth are getting attracted to
such
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 as better chances of finding an
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
, Access to better education and Health facilities in a wider
varity
Correct your spelling
variety
.
Also
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, in terms of
differnet
Correct your spelling
different
 food and
dinning
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dining
show examples
 options
furthermore
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, making connections with people from
differnet
Correct your spelling
different
 parts of the world. Second of all, A small town has much
limited
Verb problem
apply
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to offer, travel options are limited after night, Slim chances of landing an
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
 opportunity, it is said folks ran out of choices in regards to eating out and emergency care is only limited.
for example
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,
i
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I
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 have left India for
canada
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Canada
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 to pursue
Master's
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a Master's
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 in computer science to get better exposure
of
Change preposition
to
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 the world in
real time
Add a hyphen
real-time
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. Each year countries like
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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, Canada and
UK
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the UK
show examples
witnessess
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witness
 around 100000 students enrolling for higher education from countries all over the world. In my opinion, Small towns or hamlets
doesn't
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don't
show examples
 offer
Correct article usage
the youger
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youger
Correct your spelling
younger
 generation to explore and expand their knowledge
while
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 cities are great at, if someone aspires to attend university to establish a great career,
along with
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higher
Add an article
the higher
a higher
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 paying job,
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however
Add a comma
however,
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 the rent and cost of
living
Correct article usage
a living
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 much higher when compared.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly define the advantages and disadvantages in separate paragraphs to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Expand on ideas presented, providing more examples and details to support your arguments.
language quality
Pay attention to grammatical and spelling errors to improve the overall language quality.
task achievement
You provided a personal example to support your point, which adds credibility to your argument.
task achievement
The essay's topic is relevant and shows understanding of the societal issue at hand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-urban migration
  • quest
  • higher education institutions
  • job markets
  • allure
  • healthcare
  • technological and infrastructural advancements
  • personal and professional growth
  • brain drain
  • cultural shift
  • traditional values
  • dilution of cultural identity
  • overcrowding
  • pollution
  • high cost of living
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