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Band 6.5

The chart below shows what history graduates did after completing their undergraduate degree course from the university in the United Kingdom. The table shows the sectors these graduates were employed in within six years of graduating and Their average incomes.

The chart below shows what history graduates did after completing their undergraduate degree course from the university in the United Kingdom. The table shows the sectors these graduates were employed in within six years of graduating and Their average incomes.
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The chart given shows what
History
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graduates
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 did after graduation from university in the United Kingdom and the table below provides information about 5 different sectors in which
graduates
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 were employed
in
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apply
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within six years of graduating and their average incomes.
Overall
Linking Words
 it can be seen that the main part of
graduates
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 preferred to
work
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 full time
while
Linking Words
 the lowest rate of them worked part-time postgrad study. The big employment sector was other sectors,
whereas
Linking Words
 the smallest was archaeology in employment sectors of
history
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graduates
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. Most of the
history
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graduates
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 chose full-time
work
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, 56 %. Part-time
work
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 became the second highest kind of
work
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,15%. Unemployed
graduates
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 were more than others, 12 %. 6% of
graduates
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 were
unknown
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unaware of
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 what they did after graduation. Part-time and full-time postgraduate study were 4% and 7% respectively.
History
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graduates
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 worked mainly in other categories,37%, and their average income was £30,000 sterling,
History
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 teachers were the second sector chosen, 30 %, and they made £32,000 sterling per year. Solcter was a sector that provided the best wage, accounting for £57,000 sterling and its rate was 18 %. Archaeologists (6%) and historian category (9%) got 29,000 and £49,000 sterling, respectively.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words history, graduates, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "provides" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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