IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that modern innovation brings about more problems than benefits? Do you agree or disagree?

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In the
last
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 few decades, there have been many groundbreaking innovations with the purpose of making human lives better. But, these innovations have the potential to be misused, incurring many issues inadventurely. A section of society contends that the problems caused by innovations
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the benefits delivered by
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
This
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 essay disagrees with
this
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 perspective and will
further
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 explain it through examples.
Due to
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 rapid advancement in
technology
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 and science,
world
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the world
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 has seen far more inventions recently
that
Correct word choice
than
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 in the
last
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 few centuries.
For instance
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, fast internet and devices
such
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 as
smartphones
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 have made lives easier for citizens across the world.
Technology
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 has helped
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humankind in all spheres of life and has
provide
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provided
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 numerous benefits.
For example
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,
the
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apply
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poor children can now access unlimited educational resources on
internet
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the internet
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 through cheap
smartphones
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. Another example is that farmers are able to increase farm productivity significantly through advanced weather prediction
technology
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.
Similarly
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, law enforcement agencies are able to track all
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 through webcams in
real time
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real-time
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 to prevent any untowering incidents.
While
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 there are tremendous benefits, there are scenarios where
technology
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 is
getting
Verb problem
being
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 misused.
For example
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, children are getting addicted to
smartphones
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 and they are glued to the screens for multiple hours in the day, impacting their mental and cognitive growth negatively.
Similarly
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, criminals are able to use
the
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apply
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advance
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advanced
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 computer algorithms to hack the systems online.
While
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 these are valid critiques, there are ways to contain these negative effects.
Use synonyms
Smartphones usages
Fix the agreement mistake
Smartphone usage
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 for children can be governed by better parenting .
Similarly
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, hacking can be prevented by building robust and secure infrastructure. In conclusion, it can not be denied that there are a few problems created by modern
technology
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 but these problems are addressable through prudent behaviour and better governance. The advantages brought by
technology
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 far outweigh the issues caused by it.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for minor errors, such as 'inadventurely' which should be 'inadvertently'. Use more varied sentence structures for a higher score.
task achievement
Incorporate a clearer explanation of how the benefits outweigh the problems. A stronger conclusion would reinforce your position more effectively.
task achievement
Consider expanding on examples with statistics or more detailed information to enhance your arguments.
task achievement
You have presented a clear argument and effectively communicated your point of view on the topic.
task achievement
The inclusion of relevant examples supports your argument well and showcases your understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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