IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that it is more improtant to teach children the literature and history of their own country than that of other countries, to what extent do you agree or disagree

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These days more and more crowd teach house in other society. One of the biggest problems facing house who teach in other land. There are
firstly
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 live in cities is the high property prices. Many teenagers rent a flat near Stady Place.
This
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 exempts you from paying for a taxi. Many parents try to school in other cities because the quality of education in other cities is better than in their own agrestic Another issue is leads to homesickness. In other countries
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 are uncomfortable Especially for new students.In their own georgic can go wherever they want. Other georgic leads to excessive costs.lf their landing places are far away .It is possible to use public transport.
This
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while
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high
Add an article
the high
show examples
 cost of public transport .At the same
time
Add a comma
time,
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 ticket prices are often too high.
Also
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 puts people off using public transport.A lot of ancestry must be to invest more money in trains and buses and good ticket prices.Again one of the main positive study national history helps ancestors understand their country's past and traditions
for example
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 in Uzbekistan students learn about Amir Temur.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 learning about other
commonwealth
Capitalize word
Commonwealth
show examples
 is
also
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 important.It helps students understand different cultures and respect bodies from other backgrounds.
To sum up
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,I think bodies learn more about their own history and literature but they should
also
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 study other commonwealth cultures.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity and logical flow of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is supported by relevant examples.
task achievement
Enhance the depth of your argument. Provide more detailed examples, especially in your paragraphs related to the benefits of studying both local and foreign literature and history.
task achievement
You have attempted to address the prompt and express your points of view.
task achievement
Your essay shows a good understanding of the importance of national history and culture.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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