Many contend that parents play a crucial role in teaching their children how to be decent citizens, while others think educational institutions should be in charge of this.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is argued by many that

parents

Use synonyms

are playing

Wrong verb form

play

show examples

important

Add an article

an important

show examples

role

to teach

Change preposition

in teaching

show examples

their kids

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

how to become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

while

Linking Words

some believe

this

Linking Words

should be taught by

leaning

Correct your spelling

learning

show examples

institutions. Both factors play

crucial

Add an article

a crucial

show examples

role

Fix the agreement mistake

roles

show examples

in kids’ life to learn moral values, but I believe that

families

Change the noun form

family

show examples

upbringing plays

important

Correct article usage

an important

show examples

role in

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

life to be a part of

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

society member.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

parents

Use synonyms

are

first

Correct article usage

the first

show examples

teachers of every child. First and foremost,

Children

Use synonyms

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

70% of their time at home. To elaborate, they will meet the bad and good things from home.

In addition

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

are

first

Add an article

the first

show examples

friend

Fix the agreement mistake

friends

show examples

of their kids, so it will be easy for them to shape their personalities like

this

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that they can easily

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

in good social activities. To exemplify, by telling stories of

tata ratan

Correct your spelling

Tata Ratan

show examples

, who was

great

Correct article usage

a great

show examples

social developer,

parents

Use synonyms

can motivate their

children

Use synonyms

to become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

On the contrary

Linking Words

, schools can

also

Linking Words

help

parents

Use synonyms

to develop good social values in their kids

Change preposition

show examples

various ways. Primarily, a proper subject should be taught by teachers to the students regarding social information. Legislative should be strictly part of the studies. To clarify, social science and

environment

Replace the word

environmental

show examples

studies encourage students to stay

Change preposition

within

show examples

their limits and teach them

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

how

law

Add an article

the law

show examples

works in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. To

encapsulated

Change the form of the verb

encapsulate

show examples

although

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

sending

children

Use synonyms

Change preposition

to schools

show examples

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

are helping

Wrong verb form

helps

show examples

them to be a good citizen,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

I believe that upbringing by

parents

Use synonyms

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

impacts

Fix the agreement mistake

impact

show examples

determining

Change preposition

on determining

show examples

how they will be in future.

monikamonika6677Thu Apr 03 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar

Ensure that sentences are clear and grammatically correct. Avoid phrases like 'to teach their kids that how to become a good citizen'.

content

Expand on your examples to provide clearer context and relevance. For instance, more detailed explanations of how the examples you've provided relate to the argument would strengthen your points.

clarity

Consider rephrasing your introduction for better clarity and flow. For example, instead of 'families upbringing plays important role', you could say 'the upbringing provided by families plays a crucial role'.

structure

The essay presents a balanced view by addressing both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexity of the topic.

content

You provide some good examples, like the reference to Tata Ratan, which could engage readers and illustrate your point well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

250 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with is opinion. What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviours to children?
In the modern era, there has been a long-standing debate about whether a handful of the public assumes that celebrities should be role models for young multitude while others believe that parents and teachers should be role models for youngsters. In my perspective, parents and teachers should be role models for kids because moppet first follow them thus it is a good argument and both sides have a good advantage hence I will discuss both side's advantages
6
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
All of us had been in unpleasant situations, such as working under control of an aggressive boss or getting a dead-end job because we got bills to pay. People debate whether it is better to accept and get used to a bad situation or if we have to get up and put our effort into the promotion of our lives' condition. I agree with the second idea for several reasons which will be discussed in this essay.
7
band
Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified ? Are there any alternatives ? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
A lot of millennials believe, that animal testing is not advisable and should be banned, whilst other groups of people advocate main scientific findings can be unleashed only through animal analysis. I will shed some light on both views and put forward my opinion on the given issue.
7.5
band
People in some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important. Why might this be the case? Is this a positive or negative development?
According to certain people, living in a temporary house is preferable to owning one in some countries. In this essay, I will discuss why renting can allow for a more flexible lifestyle but why it can eventually be financially disadvantageous.
6.5
band
A museum near your homw is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work. In your letter explain why you want to do voluntary/unpaid work at the musesum. describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful. give details of when you would be available for work
I am writing to you in regard to the available position at the museum. My name is Jimena and at the moment I am studying at "Art University", the one which is located next door to the museum. Despite it is an unpaid job offer, I am very interested in working at the museum because I am studying to become an artist, and this position would help me to increase my knowledge and develop my skills.

Many contend that parents play a crucial role in teaching their children how to be decent citizens, while others think educational institutions should be in charge of this.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People in some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important. Why might this be the case? Is this a positive or negative development?