some people think that government should make laws regarding nutrition and healthy lifestyle, while others think it is a matter of personal choice and responsibility. discuss both views and gives your opinion

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The debate over which is the most effective way to ensure individuals’s
health
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has sparked a long-lasting
coontroversy
Correct your spelling
controversy
.
While
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some believe that public
health
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should be safeguarded through regulations imposed by the
government
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, others contend that it should be optional and personal obligatory.
This
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essay will examine both perspectives before outlining my own standpoints on the matter On the
one
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hand, enacting laws about nutrition and healthy
style
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
could be advantageous, particularly in improving community
health
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.
In other words
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, when the regulations are put into effect, food companies will be required to comply with
health
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standards and make
adjustment
Fix the agreement mistake
adjustments
show examples
to their products
accordingly
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.
This
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may include reducing
sugear
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sugar
content, eliminating harmful additives, or providing
nutritonal
Correct your spelling
nutritional
information with more precise details.
Consequently
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,
such
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breakthrough changes may effectively enhance the
overall
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Use synonyms
health’s
Change noun form
health
show examples
state of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
For instance
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,to adhere to the
government
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health
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standards, the Vinamilk company in
Viet Nam have
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Vietnam has
show examples
reduced the amount of sugar content in both
yorgurt
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yoghurt
and milk cartons,
ulitimately
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ultimately
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
to the introduction of
low sugar
Add a hyphen
low-sugar
show examples
and even sugar-free versions
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
one
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.
Nevetherless
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Nevertheless
, despite the
aforementiond
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aforementioned
advantage,
one
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significant drawback of
government
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imposed on
health
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and nutrition is that they often fail to
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
the diverse needs and preferences of individuals. To commence, it is apparent that each person has varying mental and physical conditions.
Therefore
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, it is
challanging
Correct your spelling
challenging
to impose a universal
health
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standard on
every on
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everyone
show examples
, as
this
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approach may prove counterproductive
certain
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in certain
show examples
circumstances.
For example
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, individuals with hypoglycemia require higher sugar intake to maintain stable blood glucose
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, advocates for giving residents the right to decide their
life style
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lifestyle
show examples
contend that it shows the
repsect
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respect
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
personal
freedome
Correct your spelling
freedom
freedoms
.
To begin
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with,
this
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charging
pollicy
Correct your spelling
policy
enables people to make personal
choice
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choices
show examples
that best suit their
health
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conditions,
economic
Correct word choice
and economic
show examples
backgrounds, among others.
For example
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,
vegetarian
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vegetarians
show examples
can freely enjoy meat-free
meal
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meals
show examples
,
while
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gym ethusíats can opt for
high-protein
Correct article usage
a high-protein
show examples
diet without being confined by any
legislations
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legislation
show examples
.
However
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,
unstricted
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unrestricted
dieatary
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dietary
choice can
pottentially
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potentially
lead to unforeseen consequences. First and foremost, not
every
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
one
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tends to adopt
a nutritious eating habits
Correct the article-noun agreement
nutritious eating habits
a nutritious eating habit
show examples
; many members of society are inclined towards unhealthy eating
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
due to
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convenience and affordability.
According to
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recent
reasearch
Correct your spelling
research
, there has been a spike in the obesity rate
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the United States, and
this
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phenomenon is likely to continue rising
due to
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the ubiquitous presence and rapid proliferation of
fastfood
Correct your spelling
fast food
fast-food
outlets.
This
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serves as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
testament to granting
citizén
Correct your spelling
citizens
complete
free dom
Correct your spelling
freedom
show examples
to choose their lifestyle is not an optimal option In my opinion,
while
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personal liberation is crucial, implementing
authorities
Fix the agreement mistake
authority
show examples
laws to promote healthy lifestyles is more effective in safeguarding public
health
Use synonyms
. Given the alarming rates of obesity and related diseases. In conclusion,
although
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personal choice is valuable,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that
government
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intervention is essential to ensure the safety of
Correct article usage
the comunity
show examples
comunity
Correct your spelling
community
,
espeacially
Correct your spelling
especially
in preventing the rising
prevalance
Correct your spelling
prevalence
of obesity and
health
Use synonyms
-related diseases.

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task achievement
Improve the clarity of your ideas and make sure each point is thoroughly explained.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your points more clearly, grouping similar ideas together to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You provided both perspectives on the topic effectively, demonstrating an understanding of the issue.
task achievement
Your use of examples, such as the Vinamilk company, adds strength to your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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