Today children spend a lot of their free time watching TV. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this practice? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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These days, a

significent

Correct your spelling

significant

numbers of free

time

Use synonyms

is utilised in front of

television

Add an article

the television

show examples

by infants.

Although

Linking Words

watching educational programmes can enhance their knowledge, I believe that

demerits

Correct article usage

the demerits

show examples

this

Linking Words

outweigh

benefits

Correct article usage

the benefits

show examples

because of its bad impact on health. On the one hand, spending plenty of

time

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching TV can

boosts

Wrong verb form

boost

show examples

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

learning.

Thesedays

Correct your spelling

These days

, numerous

education related

Add a hyphen

education-related

show examples

showes

Correct your spelling

shows

are being telecasted by

Correct article usage

the governement

show examples

governement

Correct your spelling

government

in order to improve

learning

Add an article

the learning

show examples

process.

As a result

Linking Words

, teenagers can not only understand the concept deeply but can

also

Linking Words

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

study in a fun way.

For example

Linking Words

science based

Add a hyphen

science-based

show examples

chennels

Correct your spelling

channels

such

Linking Words

discovery

Capitalize word

Discovery

show examples

are giving education a different platform where children

are gaining

Wrong verb form

gain

show examples

practical experience, comparing it with

real life

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

, excessive screen

time

Use synonyms

always

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

some

harmfull

Correct your spelling

harmful

diseases like obesity and

vission

Correct your spelling

vision

problems. they are

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

addicted and are not showing their interest in physical activities.

Hence

Linking Words

, not only social

connection

Fix the agreement mistake

connections

show examples

are reduced but

also

Linking Words

physical health

being

Wrong verb form

is also

show examples

affected.

Therefore

Linking Words

mentaly

Correct your spelling

mentally

mental

pressure

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

raised among them.

For instance

Linking Words

, a study

reveled

Correct your spelling

revealed

show examples

by Oxford University claims that children who spend more

time

Use synonyms

in front of digital media are suffering from physical

as well as

Linking Words

mental issues,

effecting

Correct your spelling

affecting

show examples

their learning process.

To conclude

Linking Words

, despite

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

gaining

infromation

Correct your spelling

information

, overuse of

such

Linking Words

gadgets always

harm

Correct subject-verb agreement

harms

show examples

student life.

According to

Linking Words

me, a balanced approach should

be follow

Change the verb form

be followed

show examples

gets

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

its benefits.

manojkansal30Thu Apr 03 2025

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task achievement

Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and summarize it effectively in the conclusion. This strengthens your argument and gives a clear message to the reader.

coherence and cohesion

Try to improve the logical flow between paragraphs. Using more cohesive devices could help the reader follow your argument more easily.

task achievement

Pay attention to clarity in your ideas. Provide more specific examples and elaborations to support your points, which will enhance the depth of your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Check for spelling and grammar errors as they can detract from the overall readability of your essay. This includes words like 'significant', 'these days', 'government', 'shows', 'channels', 'harmful', 'vision', 'mentally', and 'revealed'.

task achievement

You have made a clear distinction between the advantages and disadvantages of the topic.

task achievement

Your use of specific examples enhances your argument, especially when discussing educational programs.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

226 words

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Today children spend a lot of their free time watching TV. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this practice? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Word Count

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