Today children spend a lot of their free time watching TV. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this practice? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, a
significent
Correct your spelling
significant
numbers of free
time
Use synonyms
is utilised in front of
television
Add an article
the television
show examples
by infants.
Although
Linking Words
watching educational programmes can enhance their knowledge, I believe that
demerits
Correct article usage
the demerits
show examples
of
this
Linking Words
outweigh
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
because of its bad impact on health. On the one hand, spending plenty of
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching TV can
boosts
Wrong verb form
boost
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
learning.
Thesedays
Correct your spelling
These days
, numerous
education related
Add a hyphen
education-related
show examples
showes
Correct your spelling
shows
are being telecasted by
Correct article usage
the governement
show examples
governement
Correct your spelling
government
in order to improve
learning
Add an article
the learning
show examples
process.
As a result
Linking Words
, teenagers can not only understand the concept deeply but can
also
Linking Words
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
study in a fun way.
For example
Linking Words
,
science based
Add a hyphen
science-based
show examples
chennels
Correct your spelling
channels
such
Linking Words
as
discovery
Capitalize word
Discovery
show examples
are giving education a different platform where children
are gaining
Wrong verb form
gain
show examples
practical experience, comparing it with
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, excessive screen
time
Use synonyms
always
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
some
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
diseases like obesity and
vission
Correct your spelling
vision
problems. they are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
addicted and are not showing their interest in physical activities.
Hence
Linking Words
, not only social
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
are reduced but
also
Linking Words
physical health
being
Wrong verb form
is also
show examples
affected.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
mentaly
Correct your spelling
mentally
mental
pressure
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
raised among them.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study
reveled
Correct your spelling
revealed
show examples
by Oxford University claims that children who spend more
time
Use synonyms
in front of digital media are suffering from physical
as well as
Linking Words
mental issues,
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
show examples
their learning process.
To conclude
Linking Words
, despite
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
gaining
infromation
Correct your spelling
information
, overuse of
such
Linking Words
gadgets always
harm
Correct subject-verb agreement
harms
show examples
student life.
According to
Linking Words
me, a balanced approach should
be follow
Change the verb form
be followed
show examples
to
gets
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
its benefits.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and summarize it effectively in the conclusion. This strengthens your argument and gives a clear message to the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between paragraphs. Using more cohesive devices could help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Pay attention to clarity in your ideas. Provide more specific examples and elaborations to support your points, which will enhance the depth of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling and grammar errors as they can detract from the overall readability of your essay. This includes words like 'significant', 'these days', 'government', 'shows', 'channels', 'harmful', 'vision', 'mentally', and 'revealed'.
task achievement
You have made a clear distinction between the advantages and disadvantages of the topic.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples enhances your argument, especially when discussing educational programs.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: