It is responsiblitity of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benefit. To what extend do you agree or disagree with these statements ?

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It is

control

Correct article usage

the control

show examples

of persons to save and offer for their own

retirement

Use synonyms

Government

Add an article

The government

show examples

have no consideration

to develop

Change preposition

for developing

show examples

this

Linking Words

advantageous

Replace the word

advantage

show examples

. I disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement

owing to

Verb problem

for

show examples

the following reasons.

To begin

Linking Words

with, nowadays,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technological advancement increased day by day, so the product's cost

also

Linking Words

rose.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is not easy to survive and manage all financial circumstances.

Also

Linking Words

, employees did not save money for their own

retirement

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, the cost of living is higher compared to

past

Correct article usage

the past

show examples

, mainly

Change preposition

for

show examples

the EMI,groceries,education and health. So people utilize every penny

Change preposition

for

show examples

basic necessities and

remaining

Correct article usage

the remaining

show examples

cash

collect

Wrong verb form

collected

show examples

for future or other investments.

Therefore

Linking Words

, individuals have no cash to provide

their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

retirement

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, some people receive

least

Change the article

the least

show examples

amount of wage, so they can not manage everything. To add on, in every

countries

Change to a singular noun

country

show examples

Use synonyms

retirement

Add an article

the retirement

show examples

age should be around 50-60, so workers have no opportunity to clear all the mandatory necessities.

Therefore

Linking Words

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

helps them to promote

retirement

Use synonyms

fund

Fix the agreement mistake

funds

show examples

, which boost life security.

For instance

Linking Words

, if authorities

offers

Change the verb form

offer

show examples

a fixed amount, it develops

Remove the article

apply

show examples

sustainability

otherwise

Linking Words

individuals save money,

however

Linking Words

, it

is fluctuated

Wrong verb form

fluctuates

show examples

based on life stages.

Also

Linking Words

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

offers

Use synonyms

retirement

Correct article usage

a retirement

show examples

scheme,

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

positively impacts

Change preposition

apply

show examples

youngsters to focus on their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

and

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, army officers get a fund

Change preposition

apply

show examples

every month after

retirement

Use synonyms

. So it

prevent

Change the verb form

prevents

show examples

them from

struggle

Wrong verb form

struggling

show examples

Also

Linking Words

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

have the tendency to perform or join

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of sustainable jobs.

To conclude

Linking Words

, people have

responsibility

Add an article

the responsibility

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

every aspect,

therefore

Linking Words

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should provide

retirement

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

fund will be a fixed amount, so it is secure

every

Change preposition

for every

show examples

fundamental

procedures

Change to a singular noun

procedure

show examples

in life.

naseerumer666Fri Apr 04 2025

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Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure to provide a clearer structure to your essay, with distinct paragraphs for each main point. This will help improve the logical flow of your ideas.

Task Achievement

Use more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance your writing style and avoid repetition.

Task Achievement

Clarify your examples; sometimes they are not fully explained or connected to your argument. This will strengthen your points.

Task Achievement

You present a clear opinion in your introduction, and you provide relevant examples to support your ideas.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Personal financial planning
Self-sufficiency
Moral imperatives
Social imperatives
Retirement planning
Economic implications
Government-funded retirement schemes
Self-funded retirement
Social safety nets
Social security
Long-term sustainability
Fiscal responsibility
Public pension systems
Individual savings
Mandatory retirement contributions

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It is responsiblitity of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benefit. To what extend do you agree or disagree with these statements ?

Some people believe it is a good idea for students to work part-time to ensure better opportunities in the future. Others are of the opinion, job during study distracts the individual. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

hese days internet-based courses have become a popular alternative to university-based courses. Some students prefer this type of learning because they do not need to attend lectures. Others argue that it is important to study at university. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?