When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#job #salary #consideration

It is widely commonly argued that

people

always need to choose the career which brings to them much

money

. Personally, I can neither completely agree nor disagree with

this

statement for a variety of reasons. I partly agree that it is necessary to apply for business can bring much

money

to humans. One of the main reasons can be that all employees or workers need more

money

to look after their lives. If

people

want a better future, they must have a lot of

money

For example

, a farmer finds it hard to survive, or he lives under pressure because he is maintaining the life of his family.

Moreover

, a country may have a high economy if its population creates more value. Each of member in nation contributes to the GDP of the nation.

On the other hand

, I disagree with the viewpoint that finding employment has a high salary.

Firstly

although

employees are rich

Rephrase

enough to

show examples

do anything they want, they can reach the highest purpose in the world.

That is

happiness.

For example

, a person can buy supercars

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and expensive apartments, but sometimes he is not satisfied with their life. The reason for his dissatisfaction is he is a staff in a company meanwhile his dream is to be a singer.

Secondly

, there are many jobs which help

people

make more cash, but that business causes an impact on laws.

For instance

, Selling and buying weapons is banned in most countries. In fact,

people

get more

money

and they can sit in jail. In conclusion,

although

money

is extremely important, I’m convinced that a high salary is not the most important consideration.

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Wed May 17 2023

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task achievement

The introduction could be clearer in presenting the writer's stance on the issue, and the conclusion should more definitively summarize the key points and the writer's final position.

task achievement

Ensure a clear and consistent thesis statement is provided in the introduction, followed by topic sentences that directly relate to this thesis in every paragraph. The conclusion needs to restate the thesis and main points clearly.

coherence cohesion

To improve cohesion, transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be more natural and fluid. Aim to use a wider range of cohesive devices and phrases to better link ideas and arguments.

coherence cohesion

The essay could benefit from more effective paragraphing with clear topic sentences and concluding sentences that tie back to the overall argument. Incorporate varied structures and a broader range of vocabulary to enhance expression.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

consideration
sole factor
financial stability
security
motivating factor
dissatisfaction
demotivation
job satisfaction
overall well-being
fulfillment
work-life balance
flexible working hours
vacations
career growth opportunities
skill development
advancement
determining factor

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When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries, truancy* is a serious problem for both parents and teachers. •What are the causes of truancy, and what may be the effects on the child and the wider community?

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part In organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.