Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

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It is generally observed that

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

of youngsters

give preference

Wrong verb form

prefer

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

shopping in their leisure time.

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

is mainly

due to

Linking Words

the influence of social media.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that it is beneficial for them if they do take part in valuable engagements. The key reason

Linking Words

due to

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which

Correct word choice

why

show examples

young people go

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

shopping to pass their free time is

dominance

Add an article

the dominance

a dominance

show examples

of social media channels, as it is observed that there are numerous advertisements appearing on social websites namely Instagram, Facebook, and so on, which manipulate the youth towards them and they have

desire

Change the article

the desire

show examples

to purchase things yet if they have no money. Ultimately, they spend their leisure time to do shopping.

Moreover

Linking Words

, today's generation

are

Change the verb form

show examples

tech-savvy, and

convenience

Correct article usage

the convenience

show examples

of online shopping combined with fast delivery options makes

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

shopping more accessible and appealing.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, most of the parents have disposable income. Because of

this

Linking Words

, their children have

ability

Change the article

the ability

show examples

to spend more freely on acquiring things.

Although

Linking Words

shopping is an enjoyable activity, engaging in productive

endeavors

Change the spelling

endeavours

show examples

brings numerous benefits. First of all,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

doing exercises or

take

Wrong verb form

taking

show examples

part in workouts strengthens the mental and physical health.

That is

Linking Words

why it is important for parents that they should motivate their children to do useful activities. Another significance of beneficial tasks is young people can become socialized because when they do outdoor activities

such

Linking Words

as sports, painting,

walking

Correct word choice

and walking

show examples

, they meet people with different natures. By virtue of

this

Linking Words

, they can not only enhance their knowledge but

also

Linking Words

improve their well-rounded development.

Apart from

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, juveniles have an opportunity to become skilled in a particular field and get success in future.

To sum up

Linking Words

persuasive

Correct article usage

the persuasive

show examples

of social networking and discretionary income

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

great

Add an article

a great

show examples

impact on adults. But I suppose that parents have

responsibility

Add an article

a responsibility

the responsibility

show examples

to motivate them

for doing

Change preposition

to do

show examples

beneficial tasks and teach them about

value

Add an article

the value

show examples

of money.

s.manpreetsingh982Fri Apr 04 2025

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Task Achievement

Make sure to elaborate on the main points with deeper explanations or specific examples to enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the connection between ideas by using more cohesive devices, such as 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' or 'however,' to strengthen the flow of your essay.

Task Achievement

Provide more detailed examples of productive activities and their benefits to better support your argument about encouraging young people to engage in them.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in understanding your main ideas.

Task Achievement

You have made a valid point regarding the impact of social media on young people's shopping habits, demonstrating awareness of the current cultural context.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pastime
encouraged
useful activities
self-expression
creativity
sense of accomplishment
satisfaction
social interaction
bonding
escaping
daily routine
stress
instant gratification
pleasure
keeping up
trends
fashion
exploring
products
experiences
boosting
self-confidence
supporting
local businesses
economy
discovering
personal style
preferences

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Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree?