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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows how a biofuel called ethanol is produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how a biofuel called ethanol is produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The illustration shows how
ethanol
Use synonyms
, a type of biofuel, is manufactured in a circular flow.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are three main steps to produce
ethanol
Use synonyms
 from
material
Add an article
the material
show examples
, process, and use stages.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the source materials come from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plants and trees, which absorb sunlight and carbon dioxide to grow.
Then
Linking Words
, they are harvested to be processed
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 two continual stages. The initial one is to process them into cellulose, and the second one is to convert them into sugars.
Finally
Linking Words
, the final product,
ethanol
Use synonyms
, is produced by the
last
Linking Words
 step of adding microbes. In the use stage of
ethanol
Use synonyms
, it is available in various types of vehicles,
such
Linking Words
 as
automobile
Fix the agreement mistake
automobiles
show examples
, cargo, and aircraft.
During the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 burning of
ethanol
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
not only
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 the power to mobilize the traffic tool
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
release
Correct subject-verb agreement
releases
show examples
 carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, becoming the energy source for the plantation to grow.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the production flow of
ethanol
Use synonyms
 creates
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 shape of
circle
Add an article
a circle
the circle
show examples
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ethanol with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • procurement
  • raw materials
  • milled
  • surface area
  • fermentable substance
  • enzymes
  • yeast
  • fermentation
  • byproducts
  • isolate
  • purified
  • distillation
  • concentration
  • containers
  • distribution
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