IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweight its drawbacks?

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As
Correct word choice
Tourism
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tourism
Use synonyms
 is
getting really
Verb problem
gaining
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 a lot of popularity in terms
of
Change preposition
apply
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many
economical
Replace the word
economic
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, social and financial
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
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. If used properly
then
Linking Words
 it
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 has so many pros but if
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 mishandled
then
Linking Words
 the cons cannot be neglected .
This
Linking Words
 essay will try to explain why is it the reason . Most of the local
people
Use synonyms
 of the most visited country majorly rely on tourists. The amount of currency they spend over there helps the
people
Use synonyms
 to run their livelihood . Not only that economy of that place seems to be boosting a lot .
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 most of the countries in Asia like Nepal , India , Vietnam, etc are not earning that well in other fields but the
visitors
Change to a genitive case
visitor's
visitors'
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 expenditures
has
Change the verb form
have
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 gradually
help
Change the verb form
helped
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 them to increase their standard of living . The countries are
also
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mainting
Correct your spelling
maintaining
 their infrastructure quite well
for attracting
Change preposition
to attract
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 more tourists . But there are some negative outcomes
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
tourism
Use synonyms
 brings that couldn´t be neglected . Many
people
Use synonyms
 migrate illegally to other countries with
a
Correct article usage
the
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 excuse of
tourism
Use synonyms
 .
That
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is resulting
Wrong verb form
results
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 in
lot
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a lot
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 of crimes and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of employment opportunities in
those specific country
Change the determiner
that specific country
those specific countries
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 where there is
loose
Add an article
a loose
the loose
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 track of the
people
Use synonyms
 visiting the country.That in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 long term drastically
effects
Replace the word
affects
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 the nation.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 a factor
that is
Linking Words
 alarmingly grabbing attention is
due to
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overcrowd
Change the verb form
overcrowding
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 of explorers in some famous or naturally beautiful
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 are getting polluted which is
immersely
Correct your spelling
immensely
immersed
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
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 the health of the
people
Use synonyms
 residing there. That in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long term drastically
effect
Verb problem
affects
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 the nation. With
these
Add a comma
these,
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 I think the problems can be eradicated if proper measures are taken . There should be
focus
Correct article usage
a focus
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 on the brighter side and
importance
Correct article usage
the importance
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 of
tourism
Use synonyms
 should be made known to almost every
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
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.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your thesis in the introduction and rephrase it in the conclusion for clarity.
coherence
Use linking words to improve the flow of ideas, such as 'however', 'furthermore', or 'in addition'.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced view by elaborating more on both advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which is important for task achievement.
task achievement
You identified both the advantages and disadvantages of tourism, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainable tourism
  • Ecotourism
  • Heritage sites
  • Cultural heritage
  • Tourism revenue
  • Environmental conservation
  • Eco-friendly
  • Tourist influx
  • Local economy
  • Diversification
  • Commercialization
  • Authenticity
  • Displacement
  • Gentrification
  • Carrying capacity
  • Hospitality industry
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