.Some people think that social medıa has a negatice efffect on young people's mental health. do you agree or disagree?

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Social media is widely used but has raised concerns about mental health.

This

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essay argues that it negatively impacts young people. I will examine that it leads to addiction and unrealistic competition.

Firstly

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, social media is designed to be addictive, leading to excessive screen time. Studies show excessive use

causing

Wrong verb form

causes

show examples

anxiety, sleep problems and distraction. Nowadays, many teenagers struggle to focus on

studies

Correct pronoun usage

their studies

show examples

due to

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constant notifications.

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This

Change the determiner

These

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addictive behaviours cause their success to decrease.

Moreover

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, many

Change preposition

apply

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families spend a lot of time on their phones before going to bed,

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

causes sleep problems and

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this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

affets

Correct your spelling

affects

their mental health. The more we spend time on the screen, the more we experience its negative effects and become addicted.

Secondly

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youngesters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

compare themselves to influencers, causing low self-esteem. Research shows increased depression

due to

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unrealistic beauty

standarts

Correct your spelling

standards

. A survey found that Instagram users felt worse about their body image. Because some teenagers think that it is the real world and influencers share their

no-make up

Add a hyphen

no-make-up

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and unfiltered pictures.The more compare ourselves to

perfect-lookimh

Correct your spelling

perfect-looking

photos, the

worst

Correct word choice

worse

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we feel.

To sum up

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, Instagram, YouTube and TikTok

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

harmfull

Correct your spelling

harmful

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

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on our mental health. It causes addiction and low self-esteem.

Hence

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, parents

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

should promote

balance

Replace the word

balanced

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use. If we use it in moderation, we can minimize its harmful impact.

ecem.tekbenFri Apr 04 2025

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task achievement

Consider expanding on your points with more detailed examples or explanations to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you might include specific studies or statistics that highlight the impact of social media on mental health.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammatical accuracy. For example, the word 'youngsters' is misspelled as 'youngesters', and 'harmful' is misspelled as 'harmfull'. This can affect clarity.

coherence and cohesion

Aim to further develop your introduction and conclusion. For example, you could define what you mean by 'negative impact' in your introduction, and in your conclusion, you might restate the significance of the issue.

task achievement

You have a clear position on the topic and effectively express your opinion.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay is logically structured with distinct paragraphs for each main point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

217 words

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.Some people think that social medıa has a negatice efffect on young people's mental health. do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the best way to improve road transport safe is to let the driver test each year. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Educating young peaple is naturally important, However, some think governments ought to invest more education for adults in need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?