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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows radio and television audiences throughout the day in 1992. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows radio and television audiences throughout the day in 1992. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line chart illustrates the percentage of
Use synonyms
audience
Add an article
the audience
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 who show radio and
television
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 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom in 1992.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that watching
television
Use synonyms
 was the most popular activity with the
people
Use synonyms
 in 1992.
Wheres
Correct your spelling
Where
show examples
 the radio was the least
favouit
Correct your spelling
favourite
 choice among the
audience
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. At midnight, the
people
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 who
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 listening to the audio
around
Add a missing verb
were around
show examples
 5%.
However
Linking Words
, there was a significant
increase
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
audience
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 who
loves
Wrong verb form
loved
show examples
 hearing the audio at midnight.
At
Change preposition
From
show examples
 10.00 to 12.00, the proportion of those
audience
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 reached about 7% at 12.00 and
approximatley
Correct your spelling
approximately
 8% at 12.00.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
time
Use synonyms
 between 6.00 to 2.00, there was a significant
increase
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
listeners
Correct quantifier usage
number of listeners
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 who preferred
listen
Fix the infinitive
to listen
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 to audio at noon. As we notice
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
by 25% the percentage of a number of
people
Use synonyms
 who like it hearing their audio in
this
Linking Words
time
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 the number of
people
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 who
watched
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television
Use synonyms
more
Add a missing verb
is more
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 than the
people
Use synonyms
 who
hearing
Change the form of the verb
hear
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 the audio
through
Change preposition
throughout
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 the year. Particularly
at
Change preposition
from
show examples
 4.00 to 2.00 o'clock at midnight the proportion of watchers who loved
watched
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
television
Use synonyms
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
substantial
Replace the word
substantially increased
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increase
Use synonyms
 and they reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a peak.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
time
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 between 4.00 to 8.00 o'clock
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
represented a sharp
increase
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
people
Use synonyms
 who preferred
television
Use synonyms
 rather than audio media.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words audience, television, people, increase, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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