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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given chart reveals the change in the percentage of
residents
Use synonyms
 who live in cities
has
Wrong verb form
having
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 buying and drinking habits
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
tea
Use synonyms
 in five different cities in
Australian
Correct your spelling
Australia
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is crystal clear that the percentage of people
bought
Correct pronoun usage
who bought
show examples
 instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
four
Use synonyms
weeks
Use synonyms
rises
Wrong verb form
rose
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 steadily
while
Linking Words
 the number of citizens
bought
Correct pronoun usage
who bought
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 fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
four
Use synonyms
weeks
Use synonyms
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
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.
city
Capitalize word
City
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residents
Use synonyms
 who went to a café for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
four
Use synonyms
weeks
Use synonyms
 always
the
Add a missing verb
had the
show examples
 highest point, compared with others. The figure for a survey about
citizens'
Change noun form
citizens
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coffee
Use synonyms
 and
tea
Use synonyms
 that go to a café for
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
tea
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
Use synonyms
 in Melbourne reaches a peak of nearly 56%.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 data in Adelaide hit a bottom,
stand
Wrong verb form
standing
show examples
 at about 35%. Hobart is the second city which has the number of people who went to a café for a drink made
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
four
Use synonyms
weeks
Use synonyms
, at around the same level as Melbourne. There is the highest number of nearly 45% in the proportion of city
residents
Use synonyms
 in Sydney that bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
four
Use synonyms
weeks
Use synonyms
. Brisbane and Adelaide witness the lowest point of about 35%. about people
bought
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
four
Use synonyms
weeks
Use synonyms
, the percentage of urban
residents
Use synonyms
 in Hobart
stand
Correct subject-verb agreement
stands
show examples
 at nearly 55%, where the highest common compared with other cities in
Australian
Correct your spelling
Australia
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words residents, coffee, tea, four, weeks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • preferences
  • café culture
  • survey results
  • comparable
  • indicate
  • reflect
  • regional
  • cultural influences
  • drinking habits
  • percentage
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