IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Music has been and will continue to be the universal language of mankind. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is an undeniable fact that
music
Use synonyms
 is the universal
language
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 of mankind, it connects people from different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 and languages.
In
Correct your spelling
I
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 strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement that
music
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had
Wrong verb form
has
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 played
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 role in history, and it will
also
Linking Words
 continue to do so in future.
Firstly
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,
Music
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 has
power
Change the article
the power
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 to express the things that
words
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 fail to convey.
Moreover
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,
Music
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 can communicate every kind of feeling
such
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 as happiness, anger or sadness.
Furthermore
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,
music
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also
Linking Words
 helps people to bring joy
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their faces when they are not in
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 mood.
For example
Linking Words
, anyone can enjoy
joyful
Correct article usage
a joyful
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 melody and dance
on
Change preposition
to
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 that if they don’t understand that
language
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.
Secondly
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,
Music
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 is a part of every culture and
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
 in all the festivals of the world.
In addition
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, there are several kinds of
music
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 played in
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
such
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 as Indian classical
music
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, African drums, Pop songs and many more.
This
Linking Words
 shows the deep connection of human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music
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 and how it is a universal
language
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.
However
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, some people
also
Linking Words
 argue that it cannot be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 universal
language
Use synonyms
 because it’s written in that specific
language
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 or cultural context.
As a result
Linking Words
, it can be easily misunderstood if they don’t know
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 or meaning of specific
words
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 used in the
music
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 different
meaning
Fix the agreement mistake
meanings
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 of the same
words
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 in Hindi and Urdu
language
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. In
this
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 sense,
music
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 may not connect everyone internationally, but it creates misrepresentation or confusion. In a nutshell, I strongly believe that
music
Use synonyms
 is and will be the global
language
Use synonyms
 of humans, its ability to convey emotions which
words
Use synonyms
fails
Change the verb form
fail
show examples
 to convey is unique.

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task achievement
Consider revising the introduction to clearly outline your stance and the key points you'll discuss in the essay. This sets a clear roadmap for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to maintain consistent verb tenses and agreement, particularly when discussing music's role in history and its future impact. For example, use 'has played' instead of 'had played'.
task achievement
Expand on a few examples to better illustrate your points, especially in the context of diverse music genres. This will strengthen your argument and provide clearer connections to your main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more varied linking phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs, as this will improve the overall flow and coherence of the essay.
task achievement
Your conclusion can be strengthened by briefly summarizing your key points before stating your final opinion, which reinforces your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and follows a logical structure with distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples that illustrate your main points regarding the universality of music across cultures.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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