The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. C12T1

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. C12T1
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. C12T1
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The bar chart gives information about how many
people
Use synonyms
of different
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
did physical activity regularly in
Autralian
Correct your spelling
Australian
Australia
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total number of
female
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females
show examples
who did
reguarl
Correct your spelling
regular
physical activity is than
male
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males
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
aged 35 to 44 have the largest proportional disparity between different sex ,but the smallest gap is in the
people
Use synonyms
who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
65 and over. The proportion of females aged 45 to 54 who exercise regularly is larger than any other group of
people
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including
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
and
female
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females
show examples
while
Linking Words
there are only 43.1%
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of male
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
did body movement at
this
Linking Words
stage of age.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
of women from 35 to 44 years old is second only to the first and it has the biggest gap with men , up
to13
Correct your spelling
to 13
%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, young males aged between 15 to 24 account for the largest proportion among all age groups of men. Following
that is
Linking Words
the men greater than or equal to 65 years old ,which is
second
Add an article
the second
a second
show examples
biggest percentage in males. Even so,
felmales
Correct your spelling
females
still lead males by 0.4% ,which is the minimal gap among all groups.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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