IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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In modern society, new
feature
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features
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becomes
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become
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 one of the main marketing strategies in advertising businesses. In my opinion, it originates from the common idea of
people
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 associating new with great.
Furthermore
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, I think it is a
partial
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partially
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 positive development in
this
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 case.
This
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essays
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essay
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 will
therefore
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 discuss
about
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apply
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the reason behind
this
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 trend and both sides of
perspecitves
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perspectives
 on
this
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 topic.
People
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 tend to choose
the
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apply
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brand-new products
than
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over
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 secondhand ones. The reason is that the technology progresses
in
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at
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such
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 a rapid pace that it is easy for products to get outdated. With the broad application of
aritficial
Correct your spelling
artificial
 intelligence, the iteration of products has been fastened to update on a daily basis. In
this
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 case, choosing the latest product at the moment becomes an appealing option for consumers. When it comes to the benefits, innovation contributes to growth in various ways. To be more specific, students who are exposed to the latest product , smartphones
for example
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, learn faster to tap into the power of technology. They use them to learn filming, learning, and designing in a short period of time. It helps the society to grow and chase for the continual improvement. In
this
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 way, it contributes to the enhanced living quality.
On the other hand
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, the ever-lasting updated new features might pose stress to some
people
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. The term "FOMO", which stands for "fear of missing out" serves as an example. Some
people
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 are afraid of falling behind
with
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apply
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the
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apply
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society, so they keep chasing
for
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apply
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the most cutting-edge
product
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products
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 to stay sharp with
the
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apply
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development.
This
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 may cause a lot of pressure to be sensitive to any change and update in the world.
This
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 essay
explained
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explains
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 the driver for the advertisement featuring new
idea
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ideas
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 based on
consumer's
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consumer
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 preference. On top of that, the essay discussed about the
postive
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positive
 and the negative impact
under
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of
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 the development.
Although
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 the concept of innovation might bring about the emotion of stress, we could convert it into the driving force to create a better future.

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task achievement
Ensure to articulate a clear thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss.
coherence
Make sure to maintain a logical flow in your paragraphs, using linking words to guide the reader.
language
Pay attention to spelling errors, such as 'aritficial' instead of 'artificial' and ensure correct use of punctuation, especially around examples.
task achievement
Expand on your examples to provide more depth and specific details, which will strengthen your argument.
content
The essay presents a relevant topic and provides both positive and negative perspectives on advertising new products.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innovation
  • Fast-paced
  • Distinguishing
  • Psychological aspect
  • Inherently
  • Perceived
  • Continuous improvement
  • Revolutionary
  • Feasible
  • Throwaway culture
  • Undervalue
  • Longevity
  • Obscure
  • Novelty
  • Unsatisfactory
What to do next:
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