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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.) Describe the information presented below, comparing results for men and women in the categories shown. Suggest reasons for what you see.

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.) Describe the information presented below, comparing results for men and women in the categories shown. Suggest reasons for what you see.
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The graph illustrates the
hours
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 average of non-profit work done by
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 in different categories.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out in the graph is that
while
Linking Words
 married
women
Use synonyms
 increased the
hours
Use synonyms
 of unpaid activities in all the categories, married
men
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remained
Verb problem
maintained
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 the
hours
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 stable for each one. Married
women
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 without
children
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, use the lowest number of
hours
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 with only 30
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 average doing unpaid work. Females with 3
children
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 or more
is
Change the verb form
are
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 the category which
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
 more
hours
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 with 60,
doble
Correct your spelling
double
 the category without
children
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. Married
women
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 with1-2 sons or daughters use 50
hours
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 of non-paid work. Turning to
men
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, the 3 categories in
study
Add an article
the study
a study
show examples
 for married
men
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remains
Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
show examples
 stable with an average of 20
hours
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 each, two times and 3 times less than
women
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 with 1-2
children
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 and females with 3 or more
children
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 respectively.
Being
Unnecessary verb
Women
show examples
women
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 who spend more
hours
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 caring
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children
Change preposition
for children
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 than
men
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same category.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, men, women, children with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagram
  • unpaid work
  • categories
  • average hours
  • men
  • women
  • comparison
  • overview
  • highest
  • differences
  • reasons
  • childcare
  • housework
  • gardening
  • gender roles
  • societal expectations
  • cultural norms
  • work-life balance
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