IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more qualified peopleare moving from poor to rich countiries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering. computing and medicine. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people, rich countires are tealing from poor countires. Other feel that this is only part of the natural movement of workers around the worl

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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that more qualified
people
Use synonyms
 are moving from poor to rich
countries
Use synonyms
 belonging to their professions because of lacking specialists. Now
people
Use synonyms
 are beginning to realize that
this
Linking Words
 is only part of the natural movement of workers around the world. Personally, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement for several reasons. One of the main reasons behind
that is
Linking Words
 more qualified
people
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 must
work
Use synonyms
 for their own
country
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. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they are more needed for their own
countries
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 to develop economies and improve education
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, exactly
this
Linking Words
 kind of
people
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 will
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
countries
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 rich.
For example
Linking Words
, in South Korea areas like engineering, computing and medicine
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 highly improved.
Although
Linking Words
 they do not have mineral resources like us. Their more qualified
people
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 are performing
this
Linking Words
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 in their own
country
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, most of
more
Add an article
the more
show examples
 qualified
people
Use synonyms
 are going to rich
countries
Use synonyms
 because of lacking money.
Also
Linking Words
, after moving from
poor
Add an article
a poor
show examples
country
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 to
rich
Correct article usage
a rich
show examples
 they do not want to return and
work
Use synonyms
 for the future of their
country
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, most of
students
Add an article
the students
show examples
 of
Bolashak
Correct article usage
the Bolashak
show examples
 International Scholarship are staying in America because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they earn more money than in Kazakhstan.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think that more qualified
people
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 should
work
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 fluently in their
countries
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 to do rich and
then
Linking Words
 they can move to rich
countries
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 to fill vacancies. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis we can say that more qualified
people
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firstly
Linking Words
 should
work
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 in specialist areas like engineering and medicine. I think it helps
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
poor
countries
Use synonyms
 much more

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task achievement
Provide a clearer argument and analysis for your position. Elaborate further on how qualified individuals contribute to their home countries vs. how they contribute to rich countries.
coherence and cohesion
Improve logical flow within some paragraphs. Use linking words better to connect ideas and maintain cohesiveness.
coherence and cohesion
Be cautious with grammar and word choice. Ensure that phrases are constructed correctly to enhance clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue and reflects personal opinion, which is essential in IELTS essays.
task achievement
Examples are provided, which support the main ideas and demonstrate an understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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