IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table shows how unemployed
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 spent their
time
Use synonyms
 in four different categories, for 14 different kinds of
activities
Use synonyms
 in the UK, in 1982.
Overall
Linking Words
, both groups of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 are more active in the morning.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, indoor
activities
Use synonyms
 are more exciting for them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
afternoon
Use synonyms
 seems to be a rest period for all groups,
likewise
Linking Words
, they do more gardening and other enjoyable
activities
Use synonyms
 at
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is obvious that
women
Use synonyms
 spend more
time
Use synonyms
 than
men
Use synonyms
 on housework.
Thus
Linking Words
, they use over 50 per cent of their
time
Use synonyms
 for
such
Linking Words
 things,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 number is less than 30 for
men
Use synonyms
.
In
Change the preposition
On
show examples
 the contrary,
men
Use synonyms
 use their
time
Use synonyms
 more on outdoor work, like gardening and hob hunting,
also
Linking Words
, they are attracted to shopping issues. On the whole, both groups spend a similar proportion of their
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
 like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 visiting town, Drinking and Reading, which they are all less than 10 per cent.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there is a significant gap between morning and
afternoon
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
, which shows that
women
Use synonyms
 are a little more active than
men
Use synonyms
 in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
. In brief, the
afternoon
Use synonyms
 is rest
time
Use synonyms
 for
men
Use synonyms
 and the morning is for
women
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, time, activities, afternoon with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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