IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

ME PEOPLE THINK THAT SPACE EXPLORATION IS A WASTE OF RESOURCES , WHILE OTHERS THINK THAT IT IS ESSENTIAL FOR MANKIND TO CONTINUE TO EXPLORE THE UNIVERSE IN WHICH WE LIVE

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Nowadays, there are
majority
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the majority
a majority
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 of people who really enhance their opportunity to discover new invents, that make them
to
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apply
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reach their aims. Unfortunately, these human’s fascinating become more popular among
the
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apply
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of
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apply
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scientists,
want
Correct pronoun usage
who want
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 to
travel
Use synonyms
 in
space
Use synonyms
 around the world. Personally, I tend to consider that
on
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apply
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Earth has so many problems, which we should pay attention
rather
Change preposition
to rather
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 than
travel
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 to
space
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
the
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in the
show examples
21-st
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21st
of
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apply
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century human beings encounter many
dilemma
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dilemmas
show examples
,
such
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 as education and health are so necessary to take attention. The lack of knowledge among
of
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apply
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teenagers increase,
likewise
Linking Words
,
heath
Correct your spelling
health
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 widespread around the world
in
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between
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 the
age
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ages
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 18 and 30, that
mean
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means
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 illnesses are rejuvenated,
therefore
Linking Words
government
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the government
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 should
to
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apply
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involve their scholars to solve these types of
problem
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problems
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, rather than discover of
space
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.
One
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On
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other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand,
to
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apply
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travel
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
cause
Replace the word
causes
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many
Correct quantifier usage
much
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 pollution in the environment,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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leave
Correct subject-verb agreement
leaves
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 detrimental footprints
over
Rephrase
all over
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 the world.
For instance
Linking Words
, in recent
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 in the USA, we observed how
rocket
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a rocket
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had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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exploded in the air,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 acted its
pollutions
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polluting
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in
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apply
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the environment.
In addition
Linking Words
,
to organize
Wrong verb form
organising
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whole
Correct article usage
the whole
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 prosses takes not
to
Correct your spelling
too
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less
Correct word choice
much
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 time and money,
therefore
Linking Words
government
Add an article
the government
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 should not support scientists who prefer to
travel
Use synonyms
 to
space
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis we can say that
to solve
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solving
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 Earth’s problem more useful
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 than
to
Change the verb form
travelling
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travel
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
. Being healthy and strong for people are more crucial than, even
space
Use synonyms
gives
Verb problem
has
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 more important effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 environment, that’s why we should act
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
correctly

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Task Achievement
Ensure to clearly outline your thesis statement in the introduction. This will help set the direction for the essay and provide a clearer argument for the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on sentence structure and word choice to enhance clarity and readability. For example, "the majority of people" instead of "there are majority of people" could improve clarity.
Task Achievement
Include additional examples to support your claims and strengthen your argument. This can help to make your ideas more convincing and demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
You demonstrate a clear opinion on the topic, identifying the importance of addressing issues on Earth over space exploration. This is a solid foundation for your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical progression of ideas, which is important in guiding the reader through your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • astronomical costs
  • earthbound issues
  • tangible benefits
  • technological spin-offs
  • innovation
  • long-term investment
  • habitability
  • interplanetary travel
  • sustainable exploration
  • spacefaring nations
  • international collaboration
  • deep space
  • the final frontier
  • cosmic perspective
  • frontiers of science
What to do next:
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