IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You recently organised an all day meeting for your company, which took place in a local hotel. In their feedback, participants at the meeting said that they liked the hotel, but they were unhappy about the food that was served for lunch. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter Say what the participant liked about the hotel. Explain why they were unhappy about the hotel. Suggest what the manager should do to improve the food in future.

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Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my sincere gratitude for the excellent service provided in your restaurant
in
Change preposition
at
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 my
birthday
Use synonyms
 party.
This
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 has contributed not only to the party's success
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 created an atmosphere of joy. The food was extremely well done and varied. The guests enjoyed the different plates and salads.
Moreover
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, the high-quality service and professionalism serving people was
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
. I enjoyed having my
birthday
Use synonyms
 in
such
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 a friendly environment. The restaurant team
a
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apply
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along with
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 the people invited, created a great example for celebrating. It was a great opportunity for networking. To make things better in future, I suggest making an open outdoor area for
birthday
Use synonyms
 parties.
This
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 will not only encourage employees to be more creative, but
also
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 add more
intertainment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
 for a
life long
Correct your spelling
lifelong
show examples
 memory. Thanks again for making my
birthday
Use synonyms
 memorable. Your
faithfuly
Correct your spelling
faithfully
faithful
, Rimi Rimi

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea to improve clarity.
task achievement
Provide more specific details about the food issues to fully address the task requirements.
task achievement
A more formal closing could enhance the tone of the letter.
task achievement
The letter starts with a polite tone and gratitude, which is a positive aspect.
coherence and cohesion
Good use of varied vocabulary to describe the service and atmosphere.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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