IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

"City planners" new design include setting up schools, markets, and commercial places(offices) in different areas of the city. Do you think it will help the city dwellers?

When designing
cities
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, it is crucial to carefully plan the locations of
schools
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,
markets
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, and
work
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offices
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 to create a functional and efficient urban environment. I believe,
to create
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that creating
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 a holistic
city
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 for
residential
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residents
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 will allow them to experience a productive
life style
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lifestyle
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.
Schools
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 play a vital role in the development of society, as they provide education and skills training to future generations. Placing
schools
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 in accessible locations ensures students have easy access to quality education, which is essential for personal and professional growth. By integrating
schools
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 into the urban fabric,
cities
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 can promote a culture of learning and innovation
while
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 fostering a sense of community among
residents
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.
Similarly
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, the location of
markets
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 in a
city
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 is vital for ensuring convenient access to essential goods and services.
Markets
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 provide a platform for economic exchange and social interaction, where
residents
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 can purchase food, clothing, and other necessities. Placing
markets
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 in strategic locations within a
city
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 benefits local businesses and entrepreneurs and enhances the
overall
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 quality of life for
residents
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. By creating vibrant marketplaces that are easily accessible,
cities
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 can promote economic development and develop a sense of belonging and identity within the community.
Finally
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,
work
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offices
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 are a key component of any urban environment, as they serve as hubs for professional activities and employment opportunities. The location of
work
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offices
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 within a
city
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 can significantly impact traffic congestion, transportation infrastructure, and
overall
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 productivity. By strategically planning the placement of
work
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offices
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 with residential areas and public transportation networks,
cities
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 can reduce commuting times, improve air quality, and enhance their workforce's
overall
Linking Words
 efficiency and competitiveness. In conclusion, careful planning and integration of
schools
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,
markets
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, and
work
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offices
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 are essential for creating sustainable and livable
cities
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 that support their
residents
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' social, economic, and cultural well-being.

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task achievement
While your ideas are clear and relevant, consider providing more specific examples or case studies related to urban planning to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your transitions between paragraphs are smooth to enhance the overall flow of your essay. Using linking words and phrases can help with this.
introduction
Your introduction clearly defines the topic and presents your viewpoint effectively, establishing a good foundation for the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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