IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Minority languages Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money.

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There is a debate
whether
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about whether
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 speaking various
languages
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cannot be
Verb problem
can
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existed
Wrong verb form
exist
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 more in the future.It is commonly believed by some
people
Use synonyms
 that the authority should
funding
Change the verb form
fund
be funding
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 to preserve these
languages
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 some
argues
Change the verb form
argue
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 that
this
Linking Words
 programme would be a waste of
money
Use synonyms
.In
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will explain both views
,
Remove the comma
apply
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and touch on relevant examples and
own
Correct pronoun usage
my own
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 perspective. It is true that,nowadays individuals from all over the world prefer to learn and use distinct
languages
Use synonyms
 in a daily basis or work and study environment.From my
points
Fix the agreement mistake
point
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 of view,most
people
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 study or work
in
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on
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hectic
Add an article
a hectic
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 schedule and they
have
Add a missing verb
do have
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not
Correct your spelling
no
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 spare time to learn other
languages
Use synonyms
,which are not really important in their life,so they strongly believe that it would be a waste of time and
money
Use synonyms
 too.Because in these centuries,courses and
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
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,especially individual trainers are extremely expensive.
Instead
Linking Words
 of several
languages
Use synonyms
,they can boost their English and Russian
language
Use synonyms
,which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
directly broaden their horizons and influence their personal and professional growth.Including me,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 choose to be engaged in the
mostly
Rephrase
most
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 used and required
languages
Use synonyms
. Another point is that some companies,which are not
the
Change the article
apply
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governmental,demand
the
Correct your spelling
that
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 employees
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
acknowledge other
languages
Use synonyms
,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,
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Germany
Replace the word
German
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 and French.And
also
Linking Words
 in some
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 or universities,where
people
Use synonyms
 study in English or Russian,there was required to choose
other
Change the wording
another language
other languages
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language
Use synonyms
 as their foreign subject.If
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 should give an example for supporting
this
Linking Words
 idea,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 definitely say ADA
university
Capitalize word
University
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.In
this
Linking Words
 university,all subjects are taught in English to students,and it is compulsory that,they must be engaged in Russian or French as their additional
language
Use synonyms
 programme.They have to take
exam
Add an article
the exam
an exam
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from
Change preposition
in
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 the chosen
language
Use synonyms
 for passing to next year.
To sum up
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,
although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 are worried about
extinction
Add an article
the extinction
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 of several
languages
Use synonyms
 and they believe
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should spend public
money
Use synonyms
 on
this
Linking Words
 issue,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
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 which is more suitable
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 my opinion,
people
Use synonyms
 would boost
required
Correct article usage
the required
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 skills than the other
languages
Use synonyms
,which is absolutely waste of
money
Use synonyms
 and time.In the sense that,the authority may fund
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other matters which make
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
big importance in the country.

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task response
Try to provide clearer and more focused arguments. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main point and that you stay on topic throughout.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to the organization of your ideas. Use linking words to clearly connect your thoughts and improve the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
In your introduction, consider providing a clearer overview of the issues to be discussed. This will help the reader understand what to expect in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your work for grammatical and punctuation errors. This will enhance the clarity of your arguments.
task response
You have included multiple perspectives on the topic, which is a good way to show critical thinking.
task response
Your use of an example (ADA university) is a strong point as it adds validity to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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