IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it. These days Internet shopping is increasing getting popular. Discuss the impact on climate and on the individual who lost their employment?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is
clearly
Change the word
clear
show examples
 recently most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shops
open
Wrong verb form
have opened
show examples
 their services online rather than offline, It has some
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 with
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and good benefits on
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 way today will discuss the impact on the environment and the future of
Use synonyms
employments
Fix the agreement mistake
employment
show examples
. On one hand, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
shopping
Wrong verb form
shop
show examples
 online and that has
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the economy. It
also
Linking Words
effect
Verb problem
affects
show examples
negativly
Correct your spelling
negatively
 on the
Use synonyms
employments
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
. previous one shop can hire hundred of
employments
Use synonyms
 nowadays a lot of shops open their online branch before
off line
Correct your spelling
offline
show examples
 and some of them
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
just make
store
Add an article
a store
the store
show examples
.
Use synonyms
Employments
Correct your spelling
Employees
show examples
 lost their jobs because of the smart robots which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
can organize the store less cost in the operation.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, CO2 highly increased
due to
Linking Words
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
more
Change preposition
of more
show examples
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
 for shipping,
larg
Correct your spelling
large
 ships, trucks and motorcycles. with growing of the market
denmand
Correct your spelling
demand
 the
logestics
Correct your spelling
logistics
 become full of CO2.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Consider clearly defining your main points in the introduction, and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea. This will help improve the overall structure and logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Try to develop more specific examples or details to support your arguments. This will strengthen your points and provide a clearer picture of the impact of online shopping on employment and the environment.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your work for grammatical errors and clarity. For example, phrases like 'shops open their services online rather than offline' could be simplified to 'shops are increasingly providing online services.' This will enhance readability.
task achievement
You have clearly identified the two main impacts of online shopping: its effect on employment and the environment. This shows an understanding of the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: