IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, a small number of people have extremely high annual incomes. These people should be required to pay a much higher rate of income tax. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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In recent years, a few populations' yearly earnings reached a peak in most of the nations. These
people
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 should be needed to pay a good amount of
income
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tax
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. In my opinion, it is crucial to consider, and I am vehemently in accord with
this
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 statement,
due to
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 the development of the
people
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 and the country in every field. To commence with, the number of wealthy
people
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 is increasing significantly
due to
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 well-established businesses or eminent celebrities who earn annually great cash. These
people
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 are required to contribute to the whole nation.
For instance
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, the Ambani and Adani groups have really high annual incomes, and in recent research, they appear in the list of richest
people
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 across the world.
Besides
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 that, in diverse countries like India, there are citizens belonging to various communities
such
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 as those below poverty or marginalized populations.
Consequently
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, slum areas should undergo development.
This
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 could be approached by introducing a higher
tax
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 from them, so it will be helpful in the improvement of the state.
Secondly
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, for the sake of society, whether in terms of technology or in the medical field, to elaborate, as globalization and modernization are enhanced, there is a requirement for modern devices and new medications.
For example
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, particularly in epidemic situations, there is a need for vaccines and medicines to tackle the issue.
Therefore
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,
this
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 could be done by increasing the economy, especially from the higher rate of
income
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tax
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.
However
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, some advocate that taxes should be moderate, and our government should not force the high charges for their hard work.
To conclude
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, a minority of
people
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 earn a very high annual
income
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 in many countries, so I strongly believe that
such
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people
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 should be required to pay a principal rate of their
income
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tax
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 to bring equity and for national integration.

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task achievement
Ensure that your main points are clearly articulated and fully developed. Expanding on how higher taxes can specifically aid societal development would enhance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Be cautious with wording and accuracy. For instance, using 'needed' instead of 'required' in the introduction could make your statement seem less formal or precise.
coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the transitions between paragraphs for smoother reading. Adding linking phrases can enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion on the topic and support it with relevant examples, making your position unmistakable.
task achievement
The discussion of societal impact, particularly regarding marginalized communities, adds depth to your argument and demonstrates awareness of broader issues.
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