IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, news companies spend a lot of money covering international news. However, local news is more relevant to people’s lives and should receive more funding.’ To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In the prevailing era, a large amount of money is being spent by
news
Use synonyms
 organizations.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, regional
news
Use synonyms
 should obtain more subsidies because it is more appropriate to
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
show examples
 of individuals.
Although
Linking Words
 international
news
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 crucial for citizens, I believe that
news
Use synonyms
 agencies ought to focus on national
news
Use synonyms
. Commencing with the most salient reason why media companies invest money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 global
news
Use synonyms
 is that having
news
Use synonyms
 on local channels can change the
prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective
show examples
 of dwellers towards the
people
Use synonyms
 of
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 nations. Many
people
Use synonyms
 are less likely to make the wrong assumptions towards humans of other countries.
For example
Linking Words
, a decade ago, it was considered in India that
people
Use synonyms
 who live in African countries
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
live under the poverty line and they are facing countless
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
 to get basic things,
such
Linking Words
 as shelter, food, and groceries.
As a result
Linking Words
,
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
 rate is escalating at an unprecedented rate and the nation is not safe neither for living nor for visiting. Thanks to the
news
Use synonyms
, the myth has been solved. On the other sides, I believe that local
news
Use synonyms
 cannot be overlooked. It helps to spread the awareness among local individuals. Local
news
Use synonyms
 coverage often exposes the concerning issues
that
Linking Words
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 faced by
people
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 health care
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
, crime and
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
 rate.
As a result
Linking Words
, the information empowers the citizens to take part more actively in local elections,
attending
Wrong verb form
attend
show examples
 events, and many more.
For example
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,
Nirbhay
Correct article usage
the Nirbhay
show examples
 case
that was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
happened in India in 2012. A young girl was rapped by many
people
Use synonyms
 in Delhi
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is the capital of India. The criminals did not get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
servere
Correct your spelling
severe
 punishment. The incident took native
people
Use synonyms
togather
Correct your spelling
together
to gather
 on the roads against the government policies. Eventually, justice has been given to the girl.
To conclude
Linking Words
, even though spending money by
news
Use synonyms
 outlets on
world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
news
Use synonyms
 is crucial in making
people
Use synonyms
 aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the roots of other
countiress
Correct your spelling
countries
, I contemplate that paying attention to local
news
Use synonyms
 is essential in order to improve the lives of local
people
Use synonyms
, so
finacnical
Correct your spelling
financial
 assistance should be given to cover the local
news
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents your opinion, but it could be clearer and more directly related to the question. Try to rephrase the statement accurately and clarify your position.
coherence and cohesion
In your body paragraphs, ensure that each point is fully developed and clearly linked to your thesis. This will enhance the clarity of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the fluidity of your writing. Also, be aware of grammatical errors that may distract from your argument.
task achievement
You effectively recognize the importance of both local and international news, demonstrating a balanced perspective.
task achievement
The example regarding the Nirbhaya case is powerful and effective in illustrating your point about local news.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • community impact
  • timely information
  • public safety
  • local elections
  • resources
  • investigative journalism
  • uncover
  • corruption
  • environmental concerns
  • sense of community
  • cohesive society
  • national policies
  • global awareness
  • digital media
  • adapt
  • viable sources of information
What to do next:
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