IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The internet has transformed lives and economies but it is turning the world into a global village. Soon everybody will think and behave in the same way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. ( It should take no more than 40 minutes)

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The
internet
Use synonyms
 was invented in 1983 but it is transforming our lives and economies now more than ever. A lot of information coming to our phones is the same as to
people
Use synonyms
 who live
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 side of the planet.
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
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 and
information
Correct article usage
the information
show examples
 we get
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 our
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
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 or computers
is
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are
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 destroying our creativity. My family, friends
or
Correct word choice
and
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 colleagues every free minute they have they spend it on their phones. I'm
doing
Verb problem
making
show examples
 the same mistake too. We are all scrolling
thru
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
 the same news
,
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and, same
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same
Correct article usage
the same
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 videos. Sometimes when I meet my friends they show me funny videos which I saw
few
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a few
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 days ago. We are not trying to generate new ideas. We are only consumers of
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 world.
Other
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Another
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 bad aspect of it is that
people
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 are
loosing
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losing
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 their jobs
due to
Linking Words
 AI. It leads to homelessness and massive mental issues. We all can see problems in the United States of America like drug abuse. Every major city has
homeless
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a homeless
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people
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 problem. There
is
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are
show examples
 massive mental
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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 problems all around the world which leads to
shrinking
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a shrinking
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 population and weaker economies. I think the
internet
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 and AI
needs
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need
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 to be more
controled
Correct your spelling
controlled
 and regulated. We need to think more about physical and mental health which is going to lead to happier
people
Use synonyms
 and more
joyfull
Correct your spelling
joyful
 life.

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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in your introduction that directly addresses the prompt. For example, you could state your position at the beginning about the extent of your agreement or disagreement with the statement.
task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more fully. Some points mentioned, such as the loss of creativity and the impact of AI on jobs, could benefit from additional explanation or examples, which would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear connection between your ideas. Transition phrases can help guide the reader through your argument and improve overall coherence. For example, the link between job loss due to AI and mental health could be clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to provide a concluding statement that summarizes your main points and reaffirms your position. This helps to solidify your argument and provides a sense of closure to the essay.
content
You have a strong awareness of some of the negative impacts of the internet and AI, which is an important aspect of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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