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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts shows air pollution levels by different causes among four countries in 2021. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts shows air pollution levels by different causes among four countries in 2021. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart compares the degree of
pollution
Use synonyms
 by various sources between
China
Use synonyms
,
Australia
Use synonyms
, Japan, and America in 2021.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
while
Linking Words
China
Use synonyms
 has the most amount of
pollution
Use synonyms
,
Australia
Use synonyms
 is responsible for the lowest amount.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the degrees in
Australia
Use synonyms
 are almost the same.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 industry and electricity generation figures are roughly similar in the United States, the transport rates are the highest by far.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Japan's rates resemble the trend of
China
Use synonyms
.
China
Use synonyms
 is accountable for the most wasted air in all sources at about 60
PPM
Use synonyms
 for electricity generation, 70
PPM
Use synonyms
 for transport, and 80
PPM
Use synonyms
 for industry.
However
Linking Words
, Japan has the same order as
China
Use synonyms
 by causing
pollution
Use synonyms
 at approximately 17
PPM
Use synonyms
, 30
PPM
Use synonyms
, and above 40
PPM
Use synonyms
, respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
Australia
Use synonyms
's
pollution
Use synonyms
 figures are nearly equal to under 20
PPM
Use synonyms
 each for different kinds of causes, as the lowest numbers in total compared to other nations, America, which was the second highest nation in wasted air, has equal numbers for electricity generation and industry at 30
PPM
Use synonyms
 each, but the amount of transport
pollution
Use synonyms
 is much higher at below 60
PPM
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pollution, china, australia, ppm with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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