IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people regard eating meat as completely wrong. To what extent do you agree?

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Many consider that
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of
meat
Use synonyms
 is not right, and I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 term. Even though
meat
Use synonyms
 contains protein and nutrients in it, it can cause severe diseases in human beings. On the one hand, individuals have embraced flesh for their daily food habits as it is believed that
meat
Use synonyms
 provides a healthy diet to cope
up
Change preposition
apply
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with all the deficiencies in
body
Add an article
the body
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.
Meat
Use synonyms
 contains nutrients like iron and vitamin B
as well as
Linking Words
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
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 protein. To exemplify, research says that 90%
people
Change preposition
of people
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, who consume flesh every day, tend to recover
their
Change preposition
from their
show examples
 illness faster than those who are pure vegetarians.
In contrast
Linking Words
, animals nowadays do not get healthy food to eat because of pollution, which can cause them to have unknown
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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, and if a diseased body is used to process
meat
Use synonyms
, it can spread illnesses severally among humans.
Moreover
Linking Words
, one can face
few
Correct article usage
a few
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long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
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 medical conditions
such
Linking Words
 as cancer, obesity and bad breath, if one consumes
meat
Use synonyms
 regularly.
However
Linking Words
, there are
another
Replace the adjective
other
show examples
 options available to get
nutriention
Correct your spelling
nutrients
 without killing animals;
for instance
Linking Words
, cheese, butter, fruits and green vegetables.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 flesh eating provides some healthy protein and nutrition to mankind, it can cause incurable medical problems as well. People can stay healthy by eating vegetables and other dairy products.

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task achievement
Expand on your main points to provide a clearer argument. Add more specific examples to support your claims.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to your main thesis for improved logical flow.
coherence
Make sure to use varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance readability and engagement.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents your position and the topic to be discussed.
task achievement
You have included some relevant examples such as research on meat consumption and health.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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