In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people’s skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society.

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In some countries, beauty

products

Use synonyms

have become more popular since their target market has increased.

Although

Linking Words

those

products

Use synonyms

can help people to get bright

skin

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

repair their

skin

Use synonyms

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

, I believe there are severe consequences of using bad

products

Use synonyms

. On the one hand, in order to make women become more beautiful,

such

Linking Words

brighten

Wrong verb form

brightening

show examples

whiten

Wrong verb form

whitening

show examples

their

skin

Use synonyms

, they will use

products

Use synonyms

with specific ingredients.

For example

Linking Words

products

Use synonyms

like soap or sunscreen help them not only for lightening but

also

Linking Words

improve their

skin

Use synonyms

quality.

Moreover

Linking Words

in particular

Linking Words

types of

skin

Use synonyms

, beauty

products

Use synonyms

can be used to repair the

skin

Use synonyms

. Consider reducing black-spot as an example,

this

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case can be tackled by several treatments using these

products

Use synonyms

As a result

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, women can have multiple benefits

Change preposition

from

show examples

these

products

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, using beauty

products

Use synonyms

without

detailed

Correct article usage

a detailed

show examples

investigation of the

products

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and

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

ingredients could damage the

skin

Use synonyms

. There are many

products

Use synonyms

in the market

who

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

are not qualified by the authority. These

products

Use synonyms

often contain bad ingredients

such

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as mercury. If the

skin

Use synonyms

gets exposed to these chemical compounds for a long period of time, the effect can worsen.

For example

Linking Words

, the face looks burned.

Furthermore

Linking Words

instead

Linking Words

of becoming more beautiful, they will lose confidence which affects their mental health.

To sum up

Linking Words

, there are several

products

Use synonyms

in the market which help people especially women become prettier by brightening

skin

Use synonyms

and

also

Linking Words

can be used for improving their

skin

Use synonyms

quality.

However

Linking Words

, several problems can

happened

Change the verb form

happen

show examples

if they do not pay attention to the product license and its substances.

christiansuhendraTue Apr 08 2025

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task achievement

Consider expanding your introduction to provide a clearer context for the discussion. You might briefly mention the cultural significance of skin color in various societies.

coherence and cohesion

Try to provide more precise transitions between ideas in your paragraphs to enhance flow. Using signposting phrases can help guide the reader through your arguments.

task achievement

Include more specific examples of both harmful and beneficial products to strengthen your arguments. This could involve citing particular brands or studies.

task achievement

You have successfully outlined the benefits and drawbacks of using skin lightening products, showing a balanced perspective.

coherence and cohesion

Your paragraphs are generally well-organized and address both sides of the argument, which is a strong point in your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Skin lightening
Whitening products
Cultural standards
Beauty ideals
Media portrayal
Socioeconomic status
Colorism
Self-esteem
Toxic ingredients
Hydroquinone
Mercury
Melanin
Dermatological health
Consumer awareness
Regulatory bodies
Ethical marketing
Natural remedies

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In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people’s skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society.

Your opinion

Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this affect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

In some part of the world, women are not allowed to vote. What is your opinion about this ?

Some people feel that children should be able to choose the subjects they are interested in while others feel they should study the basic require subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries, students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, it is mandatory for school children to wear uniforms. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.