IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some children found some subject eg mathematics and philosophy,… difficult so these subjects should be optional instead of compulsory. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Maths and philosophy are quite hard as compared to some
subjects
Use synonyms
 and they must be compulsory in
may
Correct your spelling
my
show examples
opion
Correct your spelling
opinion
option
 as they open up the brains of the pupils.
Body paragraph 1
Moreso, these
subjects
Use synonyms
 must be compulsory
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 every student as they are
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 in their
day to today
Correct your spelling
day-to-day
show examples
 living. These
subjects
Use synonyms
 increase the reasoning capacity of every child who may be
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 it,
therefore
Linking Words
 l do not encourage these
subjects
Use synonyms
 to be optional because no one will choose one of them.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, mathematics and philosophy must be optional because they may not benefit every child as some of them prefer to study law or arts and
this
Linking Words
 will not help them in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 studies.
Tthese
Correct your spelling
These
subjects
Use synonyms
 may not be important to make
them
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
 compulsory
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 pupils as they may reduce some grades of the students so
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 must be optional.
Conclusion
To a greater
extent
Add a comma
extent,
show examples
 these
subjects
Use synonyms
 must be optional
instead
Linking Words
 of
compolsory
Correct your spelling
compulsory
 because they are
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 tough and sometimes they may be
nessessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 lifetime.
However
Linking Words
, to a lesser
extent
Add a comma
extent,
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 must be compulsory as they are the
back bone
Correct your spelling
backbone
show examples
 of learning.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Work on developing a clearer logical structure in your essay. Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your essay flows logically from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Make sure to include specific examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
grammar and mechanics
Pay attention to grammar and spelling, as some errors can distract from your message. Proofreading your work can help catch these mistakes before submission.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic and express it in your essay, which is a good starting point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: