IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that they should keep all the money they have earned and should not pay tax to the state. Do you agree or disagree with the above notion?

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There is no denying the fact that
people
Use synonyms
 think they should not pay
Use synonyms
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 to the
Use synonyms
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 and keep all their
income
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held
believe
Replace the word
belief
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 that
state
Correct article usage
the state
show examples
take
Change the verb form
takes
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large
Change the article
a large
show examples
 amount of the
citizens
Change to a genitive case
citizen's
citizens'
show examples
income
Use synonyms
, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that
opsees
Correct your spelling
opposes
 it. In my opinion, I consider that
Use synonyms
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
deserve
Correct subject-verb agreement
deserves
show examples
 the
tax
Use synonyms
 they get.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 sure that citizens have
high class
Add a hyphen
high-class
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 treatment in
health
Add an article
the health
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 industry and they build most of the hospitals in the
country
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, they take the
taxes
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 from
people
Use synonyms
 to build hospitals and streets
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them and make sure that the state is safe and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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high
Correct article usage
a high
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qulity
Correct your spelling
quality
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 living.
Also
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 workers get their
income
Use synonyms
 from
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
taxes
Use synonyms
 and
its
Change the word
the
show examples
 high percentage of individuals in
this
Linking Words
 sector.
For example
Linking Words
,
taxes
Use synonyms
 go to buildings, health care and
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
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 for
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people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
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. Another point to consider, we lived and
Add a missing verb
were rised
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rised
Correct your spelling
raised
 in
this
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
 we should give
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
back what we took in the past. To illustrate, we get free education, hospitals and huge incentives for marriage lands and
cashes
Change the wording
cash
amounts of cash
flows of cash
fistfuls of cash
show examples
 etc
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Moreover
Linking Words
, what you pay
know
Wrong verb form
known
show examples
 as
tax
Use synonyms
 will give your children
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 stander of living in future so it should consider as an investment for the
Use synonyms
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 future,
For instance
Linking Words
, the
nation
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
 GDP
growing
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 will
depands
Correct your spelling
depend
depends
 on how
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals spend their
income
Use synonyms
 wisely and one the most important spending is to the
taxes
Use synonyms
 to finance the
country
Use synonyms
 future. In conclusion, despite
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 views about paying
Use synonyms
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 to the state. I believe that
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
deserve
Correct subject-verb agreement
deserves
show examples
 it and
this
Linking Words
 is a national duty for every
citizens
Change to a singular noun
citizen
show examples
 to do.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents your stance, but it could benefit from a more engaging hook. Try starting with a statement that highlights the importance of taxes in society.
coherence and cohesion
Be mindful of grammatical errors and misspellings throughout the essay, as they distract from your arguments. Proofreading can help catch these issues.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that your main points are fully developed. Adding more concrete examples would strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You have presented a clear opinion on the topic and maintained your stance throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, with a clear progression of ideas, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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