More people now work overseas. What are the reasons why people are doing so? Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

It is argued that many
people
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prefer working outside their cities these days.
This
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essay agrees that the advantages of
this
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statement outweigh the disadvantages
due to
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self-development and financial freedom that are found in developed countries. One advantage, many
people
Use synonyms
decide to start their careers by working far away.
This
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can help them obtain personal growth and learn critical skills
such
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as
independance
Correct your spelling
independence
and
flexbility
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flexibility
.
This
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is to say,
this
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experiance
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experience
will force young men and women to gain knowledge
due to
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hard circumstances that they will be facing alone.
As a result
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, they will be able to build a better future for themselves from an early age, and without
need
Correct article usage
the need
show examples
for
famaliy
Correct your spelling
family
help.
For example
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, paying the rent without parents's support
,
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apply
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will help a person to be more
responsiable
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responsible
and careful in managing money.
Second
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The second
show examples
advantage, an important motive that drives many
people
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to travel for work is higher incomes in big countries. Financial freedom plays an important part in everyone's future.
As a result
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, most
people
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come
Correct pronoun usage
who come
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from small cities aim to avoid poverty and
living
Wrong verb form
live
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a peaceful life without money
concenres
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concerns
concerned
concentres
.
In addition
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to that, many workers will have the chance to invest and save money for their future in developed cities.
For example
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, Saudi Arabia witnessed an
increaseed
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increase
number in population recently because of great job opportunities.
To conclude
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,
This
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essay believes that working in
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
country has more advantages than disadvantages
on
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for
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young men and women because of personality growth and
big
Correct article usage
the big
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salaries that a person can enjoy.

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task achievement
Make sure to include more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your essay for spelling errors, such as 'independance' (independence) and 'flexbility' (flexibility), as well as grammatical mistakes like 'parents's support' (parent's support).
coherence and cohesion
Organize your paragraphs more clearly, with each one focusing on a single main idea related to your thesis statement.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, which is essential for task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
Good attempt to discuss both self-development and financial freedom as key advantages of working overseas.
coherence and cohesion
The concluding statement effectively summarizes your argument, which is important for coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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